Kevin Mendonca says:
While I have to agree with most of the criticisms here, I do think there's something to the idea of a reverse of Touched by an Angel/Quantum Leap type show. I thought the later ideas on the mini-bible (having to stop the serial killer from killing his list, making sure that a radio talk show host doesn't die and go to Hell) were the best so, while I think this would be a HUGE change and why should you listen to me since you already made the development slate, but I think switching the show to getting people to commit mortal sins or preventing good people who might sin from dying before they get a chance to screw up would be better than just focusing on suicide; storywise, it would really open things up. (Or even make some of the targets silly things like they want to get an elite baseball player to die and go to hell so they can improve their softball team.)
For the pilot, I do agree that the opening has to be fixed to make Mort seem better and the rape joke goes too far. I'd suggest not having Mort kill himself but have him somehow die (perhaps while doing something his mother told him not to do) and then when he gets to the pearly gates, he's condemned to hell for breaking the 5th Commandment and not honoring his mother... because he didn't get her spearmint. Turns out St. Peter be a huge spearmint fan as well.
I also think the workplace comedy set in hell angle is very strong, ripe for cameos, and could work very well. I'd definitely try to work in at least a C story of that in every episode.
I'd also consider making Mort fail in the pilot. He tries to get the main guy to kill himself but in turning everyone against him, Mort helps the guy discover his true path, he becomes more committed to saving those who DESERVE to be saved, and becomes Mort's arch-nemesis.
In the end, I really have to think that, while the suicide angle will get some free publicity, the backlash is going to be something fierce and I'd be stunned if Amazon the wholesaler is going to want to put up with the potential problems that this Amazon Studios product may cause. That's just my two cents but congrats on making it and good luck with the development process!
For the pilot, I do agree that the opening has to be fixed to make Mort seem better and the rape joke goes too far. I'd suggest not having Mort kill himself but have him somehow die (perhaps while doing something his mother told him not to do) and then when he gets to the pearly gates, he's condemned to hell for breaking the 5th Commandment and not honoring his mother... because he didn't get her spearmint. Turns out St. Peter be a huge spearmint fan as well.
I also think the workplace comedy set in hell angle is very strong, ripe for cameos, and could work very well. I'd definitely try to work in at least a C story of that in every episode.
I'd also consider making Mort fail in the pilot. He tries to get the main guy to kill himself but in turning everyone against him, Mort helps the guy discover his true path, he becomes more committed to saving those who DESERVE to be saved, and becomes Mort's arch-nemesis.
In the end, I really have to think that, while the suicide angle will get some free publicity, the backlash is going to be something fierce and I'd be stunned if Amazon the wholesaler is going to want to put up with the potential problems that this Amazon Studios product may cause. That's just my two cents but congrats on making it and good luck with the development process!