Really funny- even your bible is fun to read (it really opened my eyes on what a show bible really needs to do). I like that your script gets right into the action, and sets the tone of the humor right from the beginning.
The only suggestions I can think of to offer are these: I think you're missing a chance for more humor with Conrad's spells- they feel like pretty straightforward fantasy tropes, and I think giving them bizarre names or even bizarre effects could let you bring even more gags in. Perhaps his spells are less practical and more absurd, and it's through Conrad's cleverness that he finds ways to make them useful.
The only other thought I have is that the name "Sidekicks" doesn't quite do your script justice. I'm not sure I can suggest a better alternative, but it feels a bit flat compared to how funny your material is.
Great work- I loved reading it!
I loved it!
It's entertaining to read, keeps me in the story.
The characters are well introduced, I know who is who.
The humor is funny and silly, my favorite kind!
I'm sure more characters and monsters will be introduced along the way so I don't have much to add, keep up the good work ^^
I would love to see more
The comedy is good, and overall I enjoyed the pilot and reading the mini-bible. However, I think the major weakness of the piece is that there is fine line between having insight on a trope in fiction and pointing at a trope and saying "this is a trope". Now I'm not saying that the writing is bad, far from it. But I think that there needs to be bit more depth to the cast.
For Example: If Angelo's just a block head, then why in a society run by (hopefully) logical clear minded people, would they leave the fate of the world to him? Or is he perhaps just a symbol for people to believe in? Maybe the real fallible heroes, like Conrad, will never get there dues, because people need pure symbols to grasp on to. If people realized that the world was in the shaky hands of an average wizards instead of a golden haired god among men, well, people might just lose hope.
Is Ellionea really just a spoil brat? Or is that hard outer shell just her way of dealing with being powerless in a world were she's getting kidnapped all the time. (that final joke in the pilot by the way was pretty funny)
I'm not staying that this should be a dark complex deconstruction of fantasy tropes, since your goal is to be comedic (except there is nothing funny about being turned in to goo LOL). But I think because in the last ten years or so we've had people point and say "look, the white knight is really stupid and the ugly one it the true hero" (The Shrek movies and the comic book Fables come to mind as examples) I think explaining why these tropes are tropes with in the shows universe would be a neat little twist.
Anyway on the purely positive side I like that Angelo really seems to be a good guy at heart, that moment at with the wand is pretty cool. I also find Jellinek to be a really interesting character.
Wow, this was long, good luck to you!
(Also my sincerest apologizes for any spelling or grammatical hiccups)
Personally, it was an easy read for me. I wish there could be more of this story, but that's what the pilot episode is for, right?? This is something I'd watch even as an adult! Funny, entertaining, and I can understand where the characters are coming from. All great things there.
Keep it up!
Jared Bechler
