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Laurence M says:
I've been working on this one for a while, and thanks to folks here for help with the logline.

The Script is posted, and I'm still working on the poster.


"A reclusive man risks revealing his secret past when he goes to the aid of a beautiful young woman whose husband is abusing her."
I just read this and posted my review. Hope it helps!
Laurence M says:
Awesome, thanks Jeremy! I had some q's for you about the review -- if you don't mind -- and have posted them here:

Hey El Mo,

do you want notes here as well or do you just prefer a review on your page?
Laurence M says:
It's all good, Tommy -- whatever works for you :)
Ok. I'm on page 3 so far. I'll try to write up a review for you script's page when I'm done. At the moment I'm taking notes as I read.
I'll avoid reading Jeremy's review till I've completed mine.
Laurence M says:
Heh, pointing out you're on page 3 sounds funny if you know about British tabloid newspapers... :)
I'll be making my page-by-page notes available to you via Google Docs. Do you want the link to be private, or shall I post the link here?
Lisa Scott says:
tommy -- i don't see any reviews from you cept that one. didn't you have a whole thread dedicated to reviewing requests? strange...

without a project uploaded to demonstrate your own abilities it would be nice to see how you write your reviews.
I'm reading one right now. I've been busy, but have no intention of abandoning my thread.

I won't be using Amazon Studios, myself. I discovered this forum while researching them.
* That is to say, I do write, but I won't be submitting anything to AS.
Laurence M says:
Hi Tommy -- notes on Googlevil is fine -- whatever is convenient for you :)
Lisa Scott says:
i read the first 15 and the last 10 to see the resolution. still have to write up the notes.
Laurence M says:
Wow...interesting Lisa. That's like judging the sandwich by only eating the bread :)
I'm done. I read the entire script. I'm writing my review now.
My review is up. Here's a link to my page-by-page notes.


If someone who's already read it is willing, they can let you know if they agree/disagree. Please note that these are just my impressions of your story/writing, and I am by no means an authority. You'll find, however, that what I write will pretty much match the advice given by the the screenwriting manuals.

If you see less notes as the script goes on, that's not necessarily because I was finding less issues, it's just that I avoided noting the same ones over and over.

I liked a lot of elements of your story, but I don't think it works as a screenplay. See my review for additional info.
Lisa Scott says:
El - i wasn't judging. but know this: the most important part of your script is the opening pages and the final pages. opening pages to get people to keep reading and final pages to make people remember your movie when they walk out of the theater.
Lisa Scott says:
Tommy -- it says you need permission to access your review.
Weird. I have no idea why that would be. I'll look into it.
I didn't see any option to make a review private..so I don't know what's up. Can you let me know if it's still saying that?
Your link takes me to a Google Docs login screen:


Once I logged in, I got a screen saying I need permission to access the item. I could click a button to request access... but I won't.

Here's a sharing settings overview for Google Docs:

I'm currently reading your script. Will post comments later, on page 64, but will try to finish tonight rather late, due to time here is pretty late.

Stealing Home:)

Making notes as I read. I want to read this script twice to make sure nothing is missed. It has my attention.
Thanks for pointing that out Mitchell. I had neglected to set it to public in my haste.

Lisa Scott says:
why don't you just put it on his project page?
when this thread dies no one will even know about it.

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