MJH Walker says:
Congrats Mr. Norgard. I haven't read this script but I certainly will.
Gary Dragan Milin says:
Top Reviewer
@Lindsay
A) Nobody cares what score you got. Especially when you behave like a dick.
B) Write to Reel doesn't carry the cachet of established screenplay coverage and review sites.
C) You didn't even get the highest score of any AS member. I believe Terry did. And justifiably so. His script DON'T SAY A WORD is a real professional piece of work.
Hope that puts things in the proper perspective for you. :)
A) Nobody cares what score you got. Especially when you behave like a dick.
B) Write to Reel doesn't carry the cachet of established screenplay coverage and review sites.
C) You didn't even get the highest score of any AS member. I believe Terry did. And justifiably so. His script DON'T SAY A WORD is a real professional piece of work.
Hope that puts things in the proper perspective for you. :)
Eric C. Dickson says:
Top Reviewer
Fuckin' A. I was getting bored around here.
:)
:)
Gary Dragan Milin says:
Top Reviewer
@ Lindsay
I stand corrected.
I confused TELL NO ONE for Terry's script DON'T SAY A WORD, which I read and really liked, so I wasn't surprised at all that it got a 90.
And yeah, I'll take that bet. See what kind of coverage you can get from ScriptShark, the leading pro coverage service in the Industry.
Here's what I got with KILLER ROLE: 27 EXCELLENTS and 4 SOLIDS on their SharkGrid scoring system. A near perfect score and a very enthusiastic RECOMMEND.
Good luck!
:)
I stand corrected.
I confused TELL NO ONE for Terry's script DON'T SAY A WORD, which I read and really liked, so I wasn't surprised at all that it got a 90.
And yeah, I'll take that bet. See what kind of coverage you can get from ScriptShark, the leading pro coverage service in the Industry.
Here's what I got with KILLER ROLE: 27 EXCELLENTS and 4 SOLIDS on their SharkGrid scoring system. A near perfect score and a very enthusiastic RECOMMEND.
Good luck!
:)
Congratulations! Which are you, Roy or Hank? :-)
I was just joking, but do I find it interesting that Roy Waller is the name of Nicolas Cage's con artist character in Matchstick Men. Hopefully, just a coincidence.
I was just joking, but do I find it interesting that Roy Waller is the name of Nicolas Cage's con artist character in Matchstick Men. Hopefully, just a coincidence.
Gary Dragan Milin says:
Top Reviewer
Oh, and forgot to add:
Poor baby! Amazon spent $200K creating promotional material for your script! I'm sure everyone feels real sorry for you. Amazon should have paid you money for the priveledge of trying to market your script. Didn't they know who they were dealing with?
Tell me Lindsay, how much do you charge your dentist for the priveledge of sticking his hands into your royal mouth?
Poor baby! Amazon spent $200K creating promotional material for your script! I'm sure everyone feels real sorry for you. Amazon should have paid you money for the priveledge of trying to market your script. Didn't they know who they were dealing with?
Tell me Lindsay, how much do you charge your dentist for the priveledge of sticking his hands into your royal mouth?
Gary Dragan Milin says:
Top Reviewer
On the off chance that Lindsay was actually serious about getting pro coverage of one of his scripts, here's the ScriptShark comments I got for KILLER ROLE. I can't copy the SharkGrid because the formatting doesn't carry over:
COMMENTS: Smoothly written, well-conceived, and in many ways masterfully executed, this script utilizes excellent dialogue and fantastic scene orchestration in service of a high-concept, commercial comedy setup that proves thoroughly entertaining from start to finish. Well-rendered characters speak with consistent (and consistently amusing) voices, while the action continues to press forward at a distinctly satisfying pace. While there may be one or two largely trivial areas to consider potentially polishing, the finished product crafted over the course of this script’s running time already feels, in nearly every regard, ready to leap to the big screen.
Structurally, the initial mafia hit draws the audience instantly into the world of the movie with a sharp, riveting, and action-packed inciting incident to lay out the tonal and conceptual basis for the remainder of the story. Cutting back, the script furnishes an inspired introduction to Michael and his meek college status quo, and after he and Jerry decide to take the money, only to discover the increasingly terrifying repercussions of that decision, the story catapults into a second act infused with all manner of tension and comedic fun. The ultimate showdown draws together all of the plot threads introduced throughout the preceding story, while at the same time never coming across as overly melodramatic or contrived. Rather, the lasting impact with which the script finishes off its story is distinctly satisfying and entertaining.
Although, at some level, it would seem difficult to attack the holiday comedy genre from a fresh perspective, this script largely succeeds in doing so, thanks to its plethora of various subgenres and influences. Part The Whole Nine Yards, part Grosse Point Blank, and part Mafia thriller, it manages to create a compound story that seems distinctive, amusing, and well conceived from start to finish.
One of the strongest elements in this script is its use of written and character voices. From the start, Michael comes across as lovably awkward, a classic youthful hero whom the audience knows will eventually grow a spine. Never disappointing, Michael continues to bumble his way through the story, slowly but surely gaining a modicum of confidence and self-esteem, while quietly becoming something of a renegade in his own right.
It is in part the script’s use of scene orchestration and structure that allows it to succeed so handily in creating scenes that come across as multifaceted. Funny but also complex, numerous sequences throughout the second act come across as a nearly flawless in their overall execution. For example, the scenes in which Katerina is pictured helping Miriam prepare for Thanksgiving accomplish numerous narrative goals simultaneously. The quick and easy surface jokes -- from Katerina using a butterfly knife to help carve vegetables and meats to the clever (if slightly off-color) jokes about babies in dumpsters -- are nicely tempered with deeper and more affecting themes of loneliness and acceptance. The scene in which Miriam hugs Katerina and drives her to tears is particularly touching, and the ways in which the script couches it among other more comedic elements allows it to come across as utterly sincere, organic, and natural, while at the same time never diminishing its impact in terms of both the characters and the underlying messages at the heart of the story.
Comedy is also another area where the script truly shines. From hilarious one-liners (such as Miriam calling Katerina a drama queen for her explosion about the chameleon loose in the house) to more visual gags and conflicts (such as the initial arrival of the chameleon with Aunt Donna and Katerina's impressively stiff drink with Miriam), the script manages to deliver a thoroughly satisfying blend of snappy humor and plot development.
While, at a certain level, the aspiring Hollywood actor and the Russian mafia are elements that have certainly been explored in other stories, this script allows them to come across as fresh, compelling, and original, thanks to the ways in which it builds upon them with strong characters, and ties them all together in its carefully concocted plot. No planted detail is left unpaid-off, and the ways in which the script catches every tiny ball it throws in the air - such as mirroring Michael's initial theater struggles with the fake gun in his moment of heroism at the end, confronting the real chameleon - prove truly impressive.
In this largely seamless execution, only one or two areas feel as if they might simply benefit from a little further consideration. For example, while the script does an excellent job of paying off the Jerry conflict by allowing him to save the day with the gangsters, at the end, it seems as though the rift between him and Michael could perhaps have been drawn out or complicated just a little further. The script acts upon excellent impulses in terms of introducing this conflict, but it simply feels as though when it happens, on page 53, it is perhaps slightly abrupt. If this conflict could have developed or sustained one or two more additional beats, it might simply have come across as all the more natural in its build and payoff.
At an even more trivial and subjective level, it also feels as though, while the script does an excellent job of remaining contained, grounded, and thoroughly plausible throughout its second act, it might have been interesting to have considered one last burst of action at the very end. This is, of course, not absolutely necessary, and the conclusion the script already furnishes feels quite satisfying. At the same time, because the story spends such a vast majority of its screen time essentially locked up in Michael's house in Kansas, it simply seems as if allowing the plot to escape this slightly claustrophobic setting for one final action sequence or scene might simply round the movie off even more satisfyingly.
Also, might it have been interesting, as Katerina initially suggests, if there were in fact, a local girl who may be harbored a crush on Michael in high school, and who, hearing he is back in town, might try to insinuate herself into Thanksgiving dinner? Again, this is merely a potential suggestion, but this added element of conflict to the Michael/Katerina relationship might simply furnish even more spice and complexity to their scenes.
By and large, though, these are extremely trivial notes. Even as it presently stands, this script sets itself apart with nearly flawless characters and dialogue, a smoothly professional written voice and style, and overall execution that seems so thoroughly entertaining and in touch with its comedic sensibilities that it is difficult not to imagine it leaping to the big screen.
SCRIPT: RECOMMEND
COMMENTS: Smoothly written, well-conceived, and in many ways masterfully executed, this script utilizes excellent dialogue and fantastic scene orchestration in service of a high-concept, commercial comedy setup that proves thoroughly entertaining from start to finish. Well-rendered characters speak with consistent (and consistently amusing) voices, while the action continues to press forward at a distinctly satisfying pace. While there may be one or two largely trivial areas to consider potentially polishing, the finished product crafted over the course of this script’s running time already feels, in nearly every regard, ready to leap to the big screen.
Structurally, the initial mafia hit draws the audience instantly into the world of the movie with a sharp, riveting, and action-packed inciting incident to lay out the tonal and conceptual basis for the remainder of the story. Cutting back, the script furnishes an inspired introduction to Michael and his meek college status quo, and after he and Jerry decide to take the money, only to discover the increasingly terrifying repercussions of that decision, the story catapults into a second act infused with all manner of tension and comedic fun. The ultimate showdown draws together all of the plot threads introduced throughout the preceding story, while at the same time never coming across as overly melodramatic or contrived. Rather, the lasting impact with which the script finishes off its story is distinctly satisfying and entertaining.
Although, at some level, it would seem difficult to attack the holiday comedy genre from a fresh perspective, this script largely succeeds in doing so, thanks to its plethora of various subgenres and influences. Part The Whole Nine Yards, part Grosse Point Blank, and part Mafia thriller, it manages to create a compound story that seems distinctive, amusing, and well conceived from start to finish.
One of the strongest elements in this script is its use of written and character voices. From the start, Michael comes across as lovably awkward, a classic youthful hero whom the audience knows will eventually grow a spine. Never disappointing, Michael continues to bumble his way through the story, slowly but surely gaining a modicum of confidence and self-esteem, while quietly becoming something of a renegade in his own right.
It is in part the script’s use of scene orchestration and structure that allows it to succeed so handily in creating scenes that come across as multifaceted. Funny but also complex, numerous sequences throughout the second act come across as a nearly flawless in their overall execution. For example, the scenes in which Katerina is pictured helping Miriam prepare for Thanksgiving accomplish numerous narrative goals simultaneously. The quick and easy surface jokes -- from Katerina using a butterfly knife to help carve vegetables and meats to the clever (if slightly off-color) jokes about babies in dumpsters -- are nicely tempered with deeper and more affecting themes of loneliness and acceptance. The scene in which Miriam hugs Katerina and drives her to tears is particularly touching, and the ways in which the script couches it among other more comedic elements allows it to come across as utterly sincere, organic, and natural, while at the same time never diminishing its impact in terms of both the characters and the underlying messages at the heart of the story.
Comedy is also another area where the script truly shines. From hilarious one-liners (such as Miriam calling Katerina a drama queen for her explosion about the chameleon loose in the house) to more visual gags and conflicts (such as the initial arrival of the chameleon with Aunt Donna and Katerina's impressively stiff drink with Miriam), the script manages to deliver a thoroughly satisfying blend of snappy humor and plot development.
While, at a certain level, the aspiring Hollywood actor and the Russian mafia are elements that have certainly been explored in other stories, this script allows them to come across as fresh, compelling, and original, thanks to the ways in which it builds upon them with strong characters, and ties them all together in its carefully concocted plot. No planted detail is left unpaid-off, and the ways in which the script catches every tiny ball it throws in the air - such as mirroring Michael's initial theater struggles with the fake gun in his moment of heroism at the end, confronting the real chameleon - prove truly impressive.
In this largely seamless execution, only one or two areas feel as if they might simply benefit from a little further consideration. For example, while the script does an excellent job of paying off the Jerry conflict by allowing him to save the day with the gangsters, at the end, it seems as though the rift between him and Michael could perhaps have been drawn out or complicated just a little further. The script acts upon excellent impulses in terms of introducing this conflict, but it simply feels as though when it happens, on page 53, it is perhaps slightly abrupt. If this conflict could have developed or sustained one or two more additional beats, it might simply have come across as all the more natural in its build and payoff.
At an even more trivial and subjective level, it also feels as though, while the script does an excellent job of remaining contained, grounded, and thoroughly plausible throughout its second act, it might have been interesting to have considered one last burst of action at the very end. This is, of course, not absolutely necessary, and the conclusion the script already furnishes feels quite satisfying. At the same time, because the story spends such a vast majority of its screen time essentially locked up in Michael's house in Kansas, it simply seems as if allowing the plot to escape this slightly claustrophobic setting for one final action sequence or scene might simply round the movie off even more satisfyingly.
Also, might it have been interesting, as Katerina initially suggests, if there were in fact, a local girl who may be harbored a crush on Michael in high school, and who, hearing he is back in town, might try to insinuate herself into Thanksgiving dinner? Again, this is merely a potential suggestion, but this added element of conflict to the Michael/Katerina relationship might simply furnish even more spice and complexity to their scenes.
By and large, though, these are extremely trivial notes. Even as it presently stands, this script sets itself apart with nearly flawless characters and dialogue, a smoothly professional written voice and style, and overall execution that seems so thoroughly entertaining and in touch with its comedic sensibilities that it is difficult not to imagine it leaping to the big screen.
SCRIPT: RECOMMEND
Eric C. Dickson says:
Top Reviewer
Oh, snap! He says his script can beat up YOUR script!
Jim says:
Top Reviewer
1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.
5th RULE: One fight at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.
5th RULE: One fight at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.
Eric C. Dickson says:
Top Reviewer
I knocked Scott Baio over coming off an elevator. I also almost ran over Michael Parks with my camaro.
:)
:)
Eric C. Dickson says:
Top Reviewer
Brian Thompson threatened to beat me up cos he left his luggage in my trunk and had to wear short shorts and a tank top to the set. Funniest thing I ever saw in my life :)
Sorry. I've been drinking this evening.
Sorry. I've been drinking this evening.
Gary Dragan Milin says:
Top Reviewer
@ Lindsay
"i still got seven shots left in the chamber though gary set up a reasonable BET and i will take it."
Not sure I get the seven shots thing, but that's great that you accept my challenge. Let me know how your ScriptShark challenge turns out. And even if you don't beat me, if you get a CONSIDER or RECOMMEND they'll still scout your script through their network and get you some reads, so it can really help get your script into the right hands.
Oh, and for the record, I'm not really frustrated. I'm actually kind of focused on writing a new script. And it's turning out to be the best one I've ever written, so I'm pretty jazzed about that.
So what are you working on right now Lindsay? A new script? Or is keeping the fires of self-righteous anger burning in the bit of your stomach taking up all your time?
"i still got seven shots left in the chamber though gary set up a reasonable BET and i will take it."
Not sure I get the seven shots thing, but that's great that you accept my challenge. Let me know how your ScriptShark challenge turns out. And even if you don't beat me, if you get a CONSIDER or RECOMMEND they'll still scout your script through their network and get you some reads, so it can really help get your script into the right hands.
Oh, and for the record, I'm not really frustrated. I'm actually kind of focused on writing a new script. And it's turning out to be the best one I've ever written, so I'm pretty jazzed about that.
So what are you working on right now Lindsay? A new script? Or is keeping the fires of self-righteous anger burning in the bit of your stomach taking up all your time?
Eric C. Dickson says:
Top Reviewer
@Jim
You must have a rebuttal sheet prepared like a cold caller slingling shit stock and bad real estate.
You must have a rebuttal sheet prepared like a cold caller slingling shit stock and bad real estate.
Jim says:
Top Reviewer
Eric
Yeah
Its my latest script
Mr Smith Goes to Amazon Forums
Yeah
Its my latest script
Mr Smith Goes to Amazon Forums
Eric C. Dickson says:
Top Reviewer
@Lindsey
Oh yeah? Well I wrote seven features within the last nine months and they all failed but one.
Wait a minute. Never mind.
:(
Oh yeah? Well I wrote seven features within the last nine months and they all failed but one.
Wait a minute. Never mind.
:(