Amazon Studios Story Feedback for I Think My Facebook Friend is Dead, part 2

We want your script to be the best that it can be, so we’re sharing with you the following feedback from our Story Department. This feedback is provided for informational use only, and is not in any way a request on our part for you to make changes in your screenplay.

Title: I THINK MY FACEBOOK FRIEND IS DEAD
Draft: Script 1
Writer: Donnie Clark & CT Clark


(Continued from 'Amazon Studios Story Feedback for I Think My Facebook Friend is Dead, part 1')


THEME & THE ONLINE WORLD

Though this is a movie ostensibly about the power of social networking, the converse is also true. This is a movie about re-learning how to interact with people face-to-face instead of screen-to-screen. One should bear that in mind when considering just how integral technology should be to the story.

Right now the movie is crammed full of very specific references to social media and social gaming. In certain sequences the online world even becomes a three dimensional virtual world populated by avatars and online game elements. This ‘social media world’ is a great way of making 2D internet pages more dynamic, but we should be careful not to overuse it. Where possible, it should be employed to explain the finer points of social networking, as not all audience members will be conversant with Farmville, Mafia Wars and FourSquare.

In general, though cultural references are a big part of the movie we have to be careful not to allow them to drown the plot. Technology moves extremely fast and we need to be wary of including too many specific references that will limit the movie’s shelf life.

Ultimately, this is a movie about who we really are versus who we represent ourselves to be. This isn’t an issue specific to Facebook, it’s an issue we face every day. Whether because of pressure to conform or because of insecurity, people misrepresent themselves in life all the time. The more we can show the universality of this issue, the more broadly appealing a movie like this can be. Our aim is to make a movie that still resonates ten years from now. So when you’re tackling the rewrite, be sure to remember: This isn’t just a movie about being truthful about yourself on Facebook, it’s a movie about being true to yourself all the time.

Just to be clear, are these notes from "Script 1" or the Annual Finalist "Script 3"?

Thanks.

These are notes on "Script 1".

I don't get it, why have all these suggestions for the original script which is almost a year old?

My guess? Probably takes Amazon that long to decide what script it wants to work with. The bigger question is why bother to put it here for a rewrite instead of start fresh with the concept and ping-pong it back and forth to get the story they wanted in the first place? Might as well start from scratch. An odd request about their "winner". Amazon seems disconnected from our real world. Years instead of months for a possible maybe. Locking a screenplay down for free all-the-while promising a chance that it'll be purchased. I think if they want to option a screenplay, then they should have some way to fast track it instead of have all of us suggest or comment on it. Set a timeline of two months and decide to option or not. This is like watching jellyfish on the water.

They want 'someone', one of us, to step up to the plate, rewrite the puppy according to the notes, and hit a home run...that's all. What's to understand? If you put in the effort and do the work, and you get picked, you will get paid. Period. Let's write guys!

Agreed, Ken. What a great opportunity for writers who are just getting started. :)

@Michael - The process of developing a script may take a lot of time - NO script is always 'ready'. Some need work, and the story notes that Amazon gave are there to help enhance the story and make it better. A production company would do the same. Hell, a professional Story consultant would take the script, give you feedback, story notes, all of that, tell you to go back and work on it, THEN we'll shop it. Amazon has done the story notes, wants to make it better, gives it to writer(s), see which is the best, PAY them for their work, then shop it. Just a different approach, same result. I know I would rather work on my own stories, but hey, I don't have a problem stepping up to the plate. Now, which one?

I think the notes from the Story dept were very, very good. The info they gave painting a very good picture of the direction the screenplay should go. I think that if the changes were made according to these notes then the script would be infinitely better.