Another snark-fest from Anthony Lane...
The movie seems to be so dull that not even Lane can generate a reaction by hurling verbal acid in the reader's eyes. A miss, and a strike-out of a review....
The New Yorker reviewing Battleship is like Gourmet Magazine reviewing McDonalds - of course they are going to hate it, no matter what its pleasures might actually be.
Couldn't another name for this movie be, War of the Worlds at Sea?
Btw... it's been a long, long time since I've played the game, but what was the logic behind it? Why didn't you know where the enemy ships were located?
A Participant says:
"Sorry" I have no "Clue". Maybe the "Monopoly" man bought them. Just apart of the "Operation". Oh well, "Life" goes on. This is the "Risk" when playing in "Candy Land".
@Ryu - there's a little wall between you and your opponent, so you can't tell where his ships are.
I also read that early drafts of the script actually had the alien ships shooting bombs that looked like red pegs into the ships. Yikes. Hope they changed that.
I'm going to write a script called "Kill the Guy with the Ball".
Best post of the week, Maurice.
I think a movie based on "Scruples" could have potential.
really? didn't like a movie based on a board game? shocker.
It really is very boring. Except the bit where they actually play the boardgame of Battleships for real. That's actually unintentionally funny.
Couple of notes to big-budget franchise directors:
1) "Loud" doesn't always mean "exciting"
2) Stop thinking that, just because it's a summer blockbuster, creating characters with whom the audience can identify isn't important. If we don't care about the characters, when the CGI shit hits the CGI fan, the action that follows will be boring.
3) Watch Marvel's The Avengers to see how a big loud CGI-fest can be compelling.
Everything I've ever heard about the battleship movie is bad. The whole idea is bad. The other films written by the script writers are mostly bad. They took a number of good actors and made them look bad. They got a singer who has an acting coach in the credits. You know that has to be bad. I just have a feeling this film is going to be really......bad.
I'll try watching it if it ever gets to Netflix.
We should have a rating system based on how long it will take a movie to get to the $5 WalMart bargain bin. I give Battleship a week and a half after opening. And you had better not think my rating is bad.
It's been out in the rest of the world for about a month and has made $215 million, which is not too shabby.
Presumably they're delaying the US release so as not to compete with Avengers.
I applaud you. I was beginning to believe I was the only one that like a "plot" to the movie.
Looks like Battleship is going to be another Godzilla (the one with Matthew Broderick): a major disappointment in the US, a hit oversees.
A Participant says:
240 mil worldwide; 209 mil to produce; at least 100 mil to market (worldwide)
Right now, 69 mil from breaking even...flop. They should have targeted children and made "Candy Land".
This movie will make back its money - ok so, four - five years down the line but it will at least 'break even' imho
@ stwraith - you thought Maurice was joking?
Candy Land (2013)
Speaking of snark:
Friday Night Lights: very good.
Battleship: better luck next summer?
I wrote a review written at the same education level of the film: