Dorian S Cole says:
Sabina, this was a delightful read. Compare to Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag.
I'm not going to review it because I give lower ratings than most people and I don't want to change your average.
I think the audience might be a bit more accepting if you change Harry as god to Harry as bureaucrat, or even guardian angel.
Overall, I thought it needed more action. I recommend thinking of your setting and the elements in it as another character, and doing more interaction with the set.
Nitpicky: Page 37, Louis thumps Marty. Out of character.
I'm not going to review it because I give lower ratings than most people and I don't want to change your average.
I think the audience might be a bit more accepting if you change Harry as god to Harry as bureaucrat, or even guardian angel.
Overall, I thought it needed more action. I recommend thinking of your setting and the elements in it as another character, and doing more interaction with the set.
Nitpicky: Page 37, Louis thumps Marty. Out of character.
