Nobody will hear from Amazon before the deadline; they will need time to read all the submissions and see the overall quality in what they have before they make a decision. No point contacting anybody until they know what they are dealing with overall.
Since they may request samples any time over the next six weeks and may not make a decision for another eight weeks after that, we could be in for a long wait.
Good luck to everyone who has submitted.
Anyone heard back from Amazon yet? Or are they waiting until all the entries are in?
So are you suggesting Big Bang Theory meets You've Got Mail?
I think your proposal should build off the notes provided by the story department on this forum. this thread is part 1 of these notes. The "Assignment Details" provide the framework and number of suggested pages for your proposal.
Hello guys,
Can anyone give me some idea as to what the proposal should consist of? Should I just write up basic opinions on what I think is problematic with it and what I would do to remedy these things? This assignment isn't suggesting a re-write yet...just how we would re-write it? Thanks for your time and any answers!
Brit..
I do not do comedy. However, I am so glad I have found a place like this. I have a reason to write again. And if my writing is good enough, I might just find success. Yeah, I am back to writing
My first reaction - this coming from a guy: 2 things... 1) This needs more female roles. Facebook is a huge female community. They could be like a chorus. 2) It feels like it begins wrong. If this is a mainstream (not indie) comedy, the main character should think that he did something to cause his friend to die. It makes for a great running gag. Maybe he offered her bad advice or sent some hilarious tell-all confession of his love for her and her boyfriend found it. There needs to be something more personal connecting his actions to her demise in his mind - giving him a complex to obsess about.
I think that all the friends should be picked up along the way, or maybe make him some genius in college that gathers peers with different qualities to help him on the trip. For instance, a bully that picks on his friend, but is nice to Owen because the bully needs Owen to do his homework. Owen refuses to do his homework unless the bully goes on the trip and provides muscle or something... Who ever rewrites this needs to make the story less cliche than it is
I think I read Draft 2:
It's actually some funny stuff and memorable characters in this project. Characters funny enough to continue reading through some of the formatting issues.
Highlights: *Jeff Pants is a nut...* MB3 is very likeable* The wedding scene and the gas station scene has to be in the trailer*
My biggest notes are: Raise The Stakes and flesh out the Plot Points.
My strongest issues is: The set backs and complications are resolved way too easy.
The flash backs are confusing and feel like they don't actually help push the story along, or the plot, or the character(s) arc.
On a side note:
Chicago is a very diverse city with years of historic culture. For a minute it felt like J.J. from "Good Times" was going to pop out of a trash can somewhere sense the writers primarily force fed us with recycled humor focused on the local Black's in the Windy City.
If Owen or other characters are biggots or have phobia with other races -- establish that before page 20 or before the 2nd Act.
Maybe the Facebook Road Trip Crew are actually Honorary Klan's Men who joined KKK on line and while they look for Jessica, they have to find ways to deal with all of the inner city ethnic groups and cultures. Rishi's running teaser could be he was over tanned.
Enzo - that idea is actually in the notes from Amazon. It's funny, since my mind went there immediately as well - I guess it's a pretty well-worn trope in the rom-com genre.
Nice, Enzo. A very interesting angle.
I understand Owen and the Jessica thing, I once "met" a girl online who was an IMG model or so she said. She looked super hot in her pictures. We talked for weeks yet nothing came of it! I think I have a personal angle of it.
I want to make a good movie, where Jessica is NOT just a blonde, fat guy holding his manlyhood! And I do NOT want it like Catfish that FAKE documentary, where its just a creepy old lady.
Oh as for Jeff, he's gonna get such good lines own some scenes.
It said it wanted to be more like 'The Sure Thing', I just rented it, wow such a well executed, funny film!
I'll pitch. I can see what needs done. They are looking for a Superbad type thing and more reasoning for Owen's personality and life. They are seeing Michael Cera there.
It's kinda ok, but isn't this basically a little Big Bang Theory? You'd be better off making Jessica just an online persona created by MoBu3, who's unrequited love from Owen has made her have a "relationship" by proxy. She in effect, creates the whole quest, and at the end of the movie, he finds out the girl he's been rushing to save was sitting right next to him for most of the movie / his life. So, he only really does have ONE girl and has to decide what's more attractive, who we are or who we pretend to be. That's what I'd do. If I could be bothered.
I think i should add that I won't feel quite as warm as fuzzy, if my draft isn't chosen. Haha. Koombaya is great but I'd to be the guy with the career.
I wasn't sure if I was the right guy to rewrite this at first but have been thinking about it for a day or two and have come up with a great angle on it. I just hope it's the angle they ultimately decide they want. I 'm pretty sure there's going to be some fierce competition. Which is good because I hope the movie is made. Even if my draft isn't chosen, it'll be a good feeling to having been a part of the development of the project.
This seems like an interesting rewrite. Looking forward to the chance of working with you all!
My script, reincarNation, is also set in the real world and a virtual world similar to Second Life, which gives it more potential for interesting scenarios: http://studios.amazon.com/scripts/8931. So I was keen to read this script too. I love some of the dialogue, it's very witty and real, but I didn't think all that much of the story itself. Just because I was hoping for more originality from the internet angle, but it was too easy for everyone to get together and make it a typical roadtrip movie. One idea, for example, would be for the various Facebook friends to be picked up gradually along the way and for surprises to emerge about them as the trip progressed.
As I can see what they want is a rewrite, you can remove characters, add new characters, change the city, change the ending, you can do anything you want as long as you go with what they ask to see in the script, then it wouldnt matter which script you rewrite cause both of them will be change completely.
Put another way, are the prospective writers supposed to ignore drafts other than draft one, and pitch using solely draft one and the notes provided by Amazon for that draft?
Many thanks
I'm confused. Are we pitching on the latest draft, or draft one. It would appear that Amazon is asking for ppl to pitch on the first draft, as the notes above are for the first draft. Can someone closer to this please clarify? If this question has already been asked, my apologies.
http://studios.amazon.com/discussions/Tx3OFRJU4X5VD1I <- Link for page 2
Whoops, I meant a new title of "Facebook Detours"
Best,
BS
