Ice Cream Wars

Creator: adam
Age rating: 13 and older
A stoner teen finds working his dream job- driving an ice cream truck- much harder than imagined when his boss is a shady Long Island mob leader, and inadvertantly starts a violent and deadly turf war with brutal rival Indian ice cream-man gangsters.
Project collaboration: By Permission
Full synopsis
Synopsis: ICE CREAM WARS tells a comic story of GREG SACOZZI, a hapless, constantly-stoned young man who spends most of his day coming up with ways to continue living rent-free in his parents basement and avoiding any real decisions. After much pressure from his parents, and several failed attempts at "real work", he finds what seems to be his dream job- driving a Good Humor truck and making crazy money doing so. It's the perfect job for a guy who doesn't really like to work- he spends his day smoking joints, yelling at little children, and sleeping on his freezer. Despite indications that something might not be right- like his boss, BUTCH FERRO, insisting that he made nine thousand dollars one week when Greg distinctly remembers selling five ice cream bars, or watching a gas station owner be harassed and assaulted for not having his money ready for restocking a freezer, Greg is reluctant to believe his friend DAVE (proprietor of COCKBUSTER VIDEO, a porn emporium) who insists that Butch is a gangster and former major player in the Mob. It's not until Greg begins looking at his other "drivers"- who consist of Butch's right hand man, his brother, brother in law, and cousin-uncle, as well as Butch Jr. and a motley assortment of shady guys- that he begins to accept his boss's real identity. Upon celebrating his new status as a pseudo-mobster with his friend Dave at the local watering hole, Greg is suckered into a fight and spends the night in jail- only to be bailed out by Butch, who bonds with him over tea and pancakes, and further hooks Greg into his belief that while he may have a checkered past, Butch is relatively harmless.

That is, until Greg is accosted by another ice cream man, an Indian named Mustafa driving a Circus-Man truck who accuses Greg of stealing his turf. Dismissive, Greg informs him of his untouchable status and sets into motion a war which will end violently and bloody. Making friends with a precocious 8 year old named Carl who fashions himself a reporter, Greg uses his new connection to pull his rival's business from the school children through propaganda and dirty rumor spreading, further infuriating the Indians. It is about this time we learn that the Indians are also dangerous gangsters who have their fingers in everything from counterfeit Nike shirts to, well, murder- and they consider their ice cream routes their bread and butter. A few threats lead to Greg getting his face stomped by Mustafa, who in turn is sent to the hospital after Butch gets a hold of him. Three more Indians show to send Greg to the hospital with a more severe beating, and now Butch declares war on the rivals, who, incidentally, believe Greg is the boss, and declare their own jihad on them all.

As Greg hides out following a spectacular ice cream truck chase involving gunplay and fiery accidents which ends on riding lawn mowers (spending an unfortunate day in his pals porn store) and feels the heat of the hit that's been put on him, the Italians kidnap one of the Indians- leading Greg's mother to discover her son works for gangsters when the ice cream man shows up in a barrel in the lake. Begging Butch to stop the violence, Greg learns that the Circus Men (Indians) have killed Butch's brother, further inciting a war. At about this time, Greg is busted by undercover agents who find drugs and diamonds in his freezer, left there by the idiotic Butch Jr. Forced to wear a wire or go to jail, Greg again attempts to convince his boss to call things off- only to be kidnapped himself by the Indians, who use him as bait to lure the Italians to a final showdown.

Unbeknownst to all, while the two leaders of the rival factions comically and obviously implicate themselves in all their nefarious doings, Greg is recording every word, and his pal Carl is heroically putting together a rescue attempt. As the feds come crashing through the doors, Butch realizes Greg has betrayed him- and now Greg is convinced everyone wants to kill him. As Greg is whisked off by the coppers, he hears Butch wonder how he could betray him- and feels the pain of his father figure turning his back on him.

In our epilogue we learn the crews have all gone to jail and the Indians deported to their home country, and Greg visits Butch, where they have a conversation about rehabilitation, revenge, and ice cream- in which Butch forgives Greg (he's in therapy, after all, and there was that murder contract-hit put out on Greg for a while) and tells him he was the son he always wanted (you know, besides the useless real son he has). Greg has his life together now, and has finally achieved something- using the money he got from his book and movie deal (which, incidentally, Carl, Butch, the Indian, and the guy who works in the park all have too) he has created the worlds' largest limousine, a 25 foot converted ice cream truck with hot tub and big screen TV, perfet for inclusion into the Guinness Book of World Records, a childhood dream. Greg drives off into the sunset as his protege Carl finishes his own book on the story.

Inspired by my own experiences at age 18 driving for a less than reputable company (yes, I did engage in the wars, too, and Butch was really my boss) this comedy shows that things are not always as they appear. One will never look at an ice cream truck again without wondering what’s really in the freezer.

Latest Work

  • Script 1 - adam's Original Draft
    05/03/12
    Creative Notes:
    This is a rewrite from my much darker, grittier original version. In 2001 I had some involvement with an option from an indie studio who wanted a broader, more teen-friendly version of the original, which involved more of an ark with the main character finding himself caught up in a criminal world and deciding he was ok with that- it was more violent, realistic, and Sopranos-ish.
    PDF