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(2)
5 Stars:
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2 Stars:
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1 Stars:
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Premise:
5.0 stars
(2)
 
Story structure:
5.0 stars
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Character:
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3 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

Really ingenious story

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
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John O'Farrell

Top Reviewer
Madison
December 16, 2011
Really captivating story. After a first read through, it felt like I just exited the Snake Pit. Nice work. I chose to read it because I thought it was going to be like a Tony Hillerman story, but yours was equally as good I think.

Character arc doesn't really seem to fit in a review here. Centers is a psychopath, playing a role from beginning to end. However, it might be interesting to get reviews from actors who would have to switch character personalities as he relates the different viewpoints.

Having Centers relate each of the viewpoints in this script is a pretty good device, but relating Rowan’s story through Centers’ peyote experience is really creative, if bizarre. It was necessarily going to be hard to relate Rowan’s story, since he died before being able to tell it to anyone, unlike Colton, Molly or Hornsby. However, once Centers gives Rowan's narrative, through his peyote experience, Mendez should have known something was a little strange with Centers. It seemed that way to me. But then, Mendez is characterized as a rookie.

Mendez and Lowe are pretty weak characters, but again, they aren't really part of the story. Centers could have told this to anyone looking to solve the crime. Which leads me to a question. Centers is in the Interrogation Room. Yet, we assume not currently under suspicion. But Mendez treats him as if he is under suspicion. Centers stated it, "How about a little respect?" I didn't understand why she would treat him this way either. Maybe I'm missing something here?

One last question. I don't understand why Centers didn't bolt earlier, when he killed Hornsby. He isn't being held, as he walks out of the department without a fuss. Possibly he was unable to bolt because the timeline was too tight, but that wasn't stated anywhere I could find. His finishing flourish, killing Rose, could have been done earlier also, allowing him time to bolt, but that action does make sense where it is. And unless the Sheriff's deputies all had a blue rose tattoos, I don't see how he could have thought that he might get away clean or manage to divert the investigation away from himself if the investigation went on for very long. So, I'm left with guessing Centers concocted the story just to thumb his nose at the rookie federal agent. Is that Centers' motivation? It does fit with the psychopath personality.

Nice touch putting in that tie point where Lowe says that the Sherriff's personnel have been instructed to not turn over personnel records. The implication is that Centers anticipated questioning from the state or feds and put that order out, ostensibly to ensure that Mendez doesn't immediately learn about his and Hornsby's history and giving him time to make a getaway.

One last point is the blue rose on Centers' back. I really can't visualize how we'd be able to see it.

Anyway, I enjoyed the story. And, congratulations on the semifinals.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Great Story! Such a fun ride!

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
Profileimage._sx60_sy80_
Los Angeles
January 15, 2013
 

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Semifinalist: Best Script
 
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