All Reviews

I'll keep this short. I thought this script was pretty tight. It's an interesting idea, and the main cast is fairly well fleshed out. I also liked that you shied away from more extreme violence in some scenes, allowing the tension and suspense to drive the story instead of extreme gore (More on this later though). The only notes I would have are this:

Be careful with the characters of Larry and Terry. While both characters serve their purpose, they at times borderline going over the top. Normally I would be fine with this, but the rest of the characters are so grounded that they stick out.

The next one does contain a bit of a spoiler. The ending needs higher stakes. While I liked that you refrained from more extreme violence for the early part of the script, the ending, the chase, and Dan's attack are the moments where you can let loose a little bit. You also let Bonnie off the hook. Yes, she is alone in the end, but she is a character I was kind of hoping to see get gnawed on a little, if not ripped to shreds. (She's cheating on her handicapped husband with an underage boy, not to mention the fact that in many ways she is responsible for all of this.) That final moment of her in the lake lacks a lot of punch because she does come off as such a nasty character, and yet she gets through all this pretty much untouched.

Other then those two things, I thought the idea was solid, the pacing was strong, and the side story with Bonnie and Dan was interesting. I also thought Jim was a great lead character, and I was really invested in his story.

It's good, and beautifully written. A bit verbose though!

The scene with running over the deer is odd, because you write that the deer was '2 feet away' from the car. That feels a little specific, and even if there was very little time to react, 2 feet at the speeds we're going at is way too little. Can you just say 'a few feet' or something less specific.

Characters a really good and well rounded, albeit a little cliche.

I can see why you won prizes, and can see why you're on the dev slate...great stuff.

A great script. Well written. Great luck moving forward.

This could be a very cool movie. My advice would be to hook up with some of those guys who work on Underworld and see if they can give a new twist to the rabid dog look.

Robert D