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Extremely worthy of spending on funds!
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A Screenplay Worth Studying
This is a screenplay worth studying. It's greatest strength is that it is highly visual, devoid of unnecessary description and narrative.
Third act problems: I have some reservations about the killer's identity primarily because the conclusion somehow didn't seem to flow from the preceding developments. Perhaps after another reading -- or watching a test film -- I'll feel otherwise. If the author agrees, though, I think it shouldn't be hard to introduce the character earlier and make the resolution more satisfying and integral.
This script is really gripping, and I lost my "willing suspension of disbelief" only once, when Tailor, standing on the bridge contemplating suicide, falls dues to a broken railing. I just didn't buy it. I hope the author can find a way to make the fall/rescue scene more plausible.
I'll be reading this again -- to learn from it. I'm glad this is on the development slate -- an excellent decision by Amazon Studios.
Third act problems: I have some reservations about the killer's identity primarily because the conclusion somehow didn't seem to flow from the preceding developments. Perhaps after another reading -- or watching a test film -- I'll feel otherwise. If the author agrees, though, I think it shouldn't be hard to introduce the character earlier and make the resolution more satisfying and integral.
This script is really gripping, and I lost my "willing suspension of disbelief" only once, when Tailor, standing on the bridge contemplating suicide, falls dues to a broken railing. I just didn't buy it. I hope the author can find a way to make the fall/rescue scene more plausible.
I'll be reading this again -- to learn from it. I'm glad this is on the development slate -- an excellent decision by Amazon Studios.
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Nice Script, Good read.
Very good script. One of the better ones on this site.
Great concept. Excellent story.
The only drawback is that it needs a little more tension in the script. The stakes need to be higher.
Great concept. Excellent story.
The only drawback is that it needs a little more tension in the script. The stakes need to be higher.
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Good Work !!!
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Disappointed with the ending
I enjoyed reading this script but, while I was reading it, I couldn't help thinking that if I was watching it on the screen I would probably be bored.
It doesn't have many action scenes and I think that can be a problem.
Also in my humble opinion the end was a deception. I was expecting a huge twist but that didn't happen. I figured out who the killer was way before the end and that ruined it for me.
Also the reason why the killer was killing the other screamers is very weak. It don't work for me. The way that the killer surrenders didn't convinced me at all, it was too easy.
I love the concept and the characters that the author created but I have to say that I was expecting more in the end.
One question that popped up in my mind when I was reading was how Taylor's mother, Sandra, was a screamer too. If screamers get burn when they touch other people how did she got pregnant? Was before she became a screamer? That would mean that she became a screamer when she was more than 22 years old, the other screamers became screamers when they were children. You get what I mean?
The script is very easy to read as it is very well written and formatted. As an aspiring screenwriter I hope I can write like this one day.
As a movie fan I'm just disappointed with the ending.
It doesn't have many action scenes and I think that can be a problem.
Also in my humble opinion the end was a deception. I was expecting a huge twist but that didn't happen. I figured out who the killer was way before the end and that ruined it for me.
Also the reason why the killer was killing the other screamers is very weak. It don't work for me. The way that the killer surrenders didn't convinced me at all, it was too easy.
I love the concept and the characters that the author created but I have to say that I was expecting more in the end.
One question that popped up in my mind when I was reading was how Taylor's mother, Sandra, was a screamer too. If screamers get burn when they touch other people how did she got pregnant? Was before she became a screamer? That would mean that she became a screamer when she was more than 22 years old, the other screamers became screamers when they were children. You get what I mean?
The script is very easy to read as it is very well written and formatted. As an aspiring screenwriter I hope I can write like this one day.
As a movie fan I'm just disappointed with the ending.
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Great Job
Finally, a great script on AS.
I truly love this concept. Great Idea. Excellent characters. Good Dialogue. An Excellent read.
My only complaint/suggestion is that there is not enough threat to Blue. She's always surrounded by FBI, so the tension isn't as great as it could be. Raise the stakes.
What if she gets separated from her handlers and is forced to be on her own.
What if she is "buried" and can't understand why she is being chased?
I did have questions as to why so many people are able to escape from the FBI? Do Screamers posses abilities that weren't evident in the script.
I love the concept and would love to see this up on the screen, but the script as such would be a disappointment. There is just not enough action/tension in the 2nd act. Otherwise, it's terrific. Best script on AS, so far.
I look forward to seeing what updates you can come up with.
I truly love this concept. Great Idea. Excellent characters. Good Dialogue. An Excellent read.
My only complaint/suggestion is that there is not enough threat to Blue. She's always surrounded by FBI, so the tension isn't as great as it could be. Raise the stakes.
What if she gets separated from her handlers and is forced to be on her own.
What if she is "buried" and can't understand why she is being chased?
I did have questions as to why so many people are able to escape from the FBI? Do Screamers posses abilities that weren't evident in the script.
I love the concept and would love to see this up on the screen, but the script as such would be a disappointment. There is just not enough action/tension in the 2nd act. Otherwise, it's terrific. Best script on AS, so far.
I look forward to seeing what updates you can come up with.
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A Marvelous Journey Worth Taking -- Touching Blue
Hello Scott,
Congratulations on creating a powerful, thought provoking, fluidly written psychic drama.
What a pleasure to read; your formatting was as close to perfect as I’ve ever read. Great craft and fresh characters make this script jump off the page. My imagination shines brighter then the test movies; I believe this has a much greater potential then what is alluded to in these test pieces. This is a good example of the inherent possible negative of the entire test movie philosophy. I have nothing against trying to highlight a strong script but a less than encouraging reaction to the test movie can have a negative impact on a project; can taint a delicate impression. I think you have something brighter, BLUER, than what the test movie imagines. I hope to see this fully realized script made into a visually stunning reality on the big screen.
“THREE” possible format fixes for your entire script, amazingly well done…
PAGE 25:
++ TYPO ++ Asked up to keep it
quiet. She was good. (Asked us)
PAGE 31:
EXT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
SUGGEST…
++ INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
PAGE 34:
SUGGEST CUT ++ Mid-range.
Scott, I wish you all the best and look forward to reading your next script. Thank you for allowing me to read and enjoy this one.
Patrick McConnell
generasp@yahoo.com
Congratulations on creating a powerful, thought provoking, fluidly written psychic drama.
What a pleasure to read; your formatting was as close to perfect as I’ve ever read. Great craft and fresh characters make this script jump off the page. My imagination shines brighter then the test movies; I believe this has a much greater potential then what is alluded to in these test pieces. This is a good example of the inherent possible negative of the entire test movie philosophy. I have nothing against trying to highlight a strong script but a less than encouraging reaction to the test movie can have a negative impact on a project; can taint a delicate impression. I think you have something brighter, BLUER, than what the test movie imagines. I hope to see this fully realized script made into a visually stunning reality on the big screen.
“THREE” possible format fixes for your entire script, amazingly well done…
PAGE 25:
++ TYPO ++ Asked up to keep it
quiet. She was good. (Asked us)
PAGE 31:
EXT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
SUGGEST…
++ INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
PAGE 34:
SUGGEST CUT ++ Mid-range.
Scott, I wish you all the best and look forward to reading your next script. Thank you for allowing me to read and enjoy this one.
Patrick McConnell
generasp@yahoo.com
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Brilliant. I love innovative screenplays. Too many screenplays are like others you have seen before. This is not one of them. This screenwriter should write a sequel. It deserves one.
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Great!!
Really enjoyed it.... I look forward to seeing it as a real movie
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Sweet concept!! Best of luck to you
The combination of Thriller and Suspense with Science Fiction and fantasy gives Touching Blue a compelling hook. This would be a great audience-charming movie!
About the 3-act structure, dialogue, characters, and portrayal of the genres attributed to the script story, narration/action, I must say a great job was done. It was too excellent of the writer that I am really speechless about it, the fact this review isn’t a long one.
Touching Blue is not just worthy but extremely worthy of spending on funds!