This is a tough review to write, because I had a lot of issues with the script, but read it all the way to the end, so I can't claim it doesn't have anything going for it. It's formulaic as hell, but that didn't keep me from rooting for the guy, and reading up until the end, even though I saw the ending from a mile off. Some thoughts... First, the good. I guess this is one of those things that's cliche because it's so often true: we (the readers) want the poor guy to get the girl. Even though he's an idiot, a schlub, and kind of a wimp, he comes off as good-natured and it sure seems like he's due for a lucky break. I thought there were about the right amount of flashbacks (although the his/her canoe memories were a bit much). That bit worked. Some of his detours provide a laugh, or some insight, although it gets to be a bit much. The near-death experiences, the happy accidents, the kindly strangers. One I especially liked was grandpa, although the whole "crazy tinfoil hat" bit seemed out-of-place... Speaking of grandpa, watch out for the inspirational poster-isms. There were a few of them, and they all stick out like sore thumbs. Any time a character in a movie starts off with a line like, "fate is..." like Grandpa and his bit about destiny? Guaranteed winces from the audience. Disbelief: unsuspended. Nobody talks like that. Hope needs to be fleshed out more, and she needs some warts. As presented here, she's just kind of a husk, or a vessel that's standing in for all of the mistakes Warren's made since college. She's sweet, she's got a sick kid, blah blah. Basically, she's everything he'd hoped. That's about as big a surprise as the fact that she's single. Of COURSE she's single. I would have rather she was happily married, or somehow screwed up, herself. But no, she's perfectly virtuous, AND a victim of chance, AND still beautiful, AND the parent of a sick kid, AND kind, AND single. Come on... Briefly, re: dialogue (in addition to above): people don't talk the way your characters talk, at least none I've ever met. People don't just declare who they are. They don't speak in checkout-line magazine aphorisms. And while this has nothing to do with dialogue: nobody above the age of 13 who can afford not to would ever wear an Eminem shirt, unless it was in an ironic-hipster way. I could go on with the critique, but I won't. Basically, it's just too by-the-numbers. All of the secondary characters were straight-up caricatures, and some (especially the country criminal family) could be taken as borderline-offensive. It could work in a goofball, tongue-in-cheek comedy, but not in something that's ostensibly supposed to be realistic, if even only realistic in a "1-in-a-million shot, but it COULD happen" kind of way. All that aside, it's got decent framework, decent "bones," and for some reason, I'd love to see it revised and produced successfully.
First, the good. I guess this is one of those things that's cliche because it's so often true: we (the readers) want the poor guy to get the girl. Even though he's an idiot, a schlub, and kind of a wimp, he comes off as good-natured and it sure seems like he's due for a lucky break. I thought there were about the right amount of flashbacks (although the his/her canoe memories were a bit much). That bit worked. Some of his detours provide a laugh, or some insight, although it gets to be a bit much. The near-death experiences, the happy accidents, the kindly strangers. One I especially liked was grandpa, although the whole "crazy tinfoil hat" bit seemed out-of-place...
Speaking of grandpa, watch out for the inspirational poster-isms. There were a few of them, and they all stick out like sore thumbs. Any time a character in a movie starts off with a line like, "fate is..." like Grandpa and his bit about destiny? Guaranteed winces from the audience. Disbelief: unsuspended. Nobody talks like that.
Hope needs to be fleshed out more, and she needs some warts. As presented here, she's just kind of a husk, or a vessel that's standing in for all of the mistakes Warren's made since college. She's sweet, she's got a sick kid, blah blah. Basically, she's everything he'd hoped. That's about as big a surprise as the fact that she's single. Of COURSE she's single. I would have rather she was happily married, or somehow screwed up, herself. But no, she's perfectly virtuous, AND a victim of chance, AND still beautiful, AND the parent of a sick kid, AND kind, AND single. Come on...
Briefly, re: dialogue (in addition to above): people don't talk the way your characters talk, at least none I've ever met. People don't just declare who they are. They don't speak in checkout-line magazine aphorisms. And while this has nothing to do with dialogue: nobody above the age of 13 who can afford not to would ever wear an Eminem shirt, unless it was in an ironic-hipster way.
I could go on with the critique, but I won't.
Basically, it's just too by-the-numbers. All of the secondary characters were straight-up caricatures, and some (especially the country criminal family) could be taken as borderline-offensive. It could work in a goofball, tongue-in-cheek comedy, but not in something that's ostensibly supposed to be realistic, if even only realistic in a "1-in-a-million shot, but it COULD happen" kind of way.
All that aside, it's got decent framework, decent "bones," and for some reason, I'd love to see it revised and produced successfully.