All Reviews

This was definitely a fun and entertaining story to read. The dialog was punchy and witty. The structure flowed nicely and was well paced.

The story is one several people can relate to. We've all had that person from the opposite-sex that we wanted a relationship with, but ended up getting stuck in the "friend-box"; if this isn't you, then you're probably the heart-breaker that's pounding the last nail into the "friend coffin". However, the characters in this story pretty much became life-long friends out of necessity with no genuine love interest for the other -- or at least any feelings that were conscious to them.

It was entertaining to watch these sexual-repressed, support buddies bust out of that dreadful "friends-only prison" and acknowledgment their love-interest towards each other. We should all be so lucky.

Great read.

The story seems formulaic but well paced and interesting. I had trouble following some of the flashbacks and cuts, and I lost track of what was happening near the end.

The dialogue between Hannah and Sully kept the plot moving, but there weren't many jokes between them. They spend a lot of time talking to each other, and if they had more of a humorous dynamic it could make the script a lot funnier.

I don't really get what Hannah's work had to do with the rest of the story. To me it seemed like it added a lot of minor characters who didn't do a whole lot.

There were a lot of moments when the audience was expected to know what the character was thinking. If the actor's unable to convey that to the audience, some parts of the story won't make sense.

Overall it was good and funny in a quirky way. I really enjoyed reading the script

Fun and light. The individual moments between characters are often great, witty unexpected dialogue. But, as noted by others, the overall storyline is almost too predictable even for a rom com. I think even just changing this name would help a bit, Super Friends highlights the fact that the movie is going to be about two good friends that become something more-- ie we know from the very first second who the love birds are going to be and what relationship hurdle they're going to overcome. The more unusual aspect of your plot is the fact that these two have never had good sex before ever. Why not name it something about that? ("Bad Sex" might be a little crass, but something along that theme.) Then the audience comes in thinking of that as the main conflict and then the friends-to-lovers romance is a freebie, rather than supposed to carry the whole story. Not that a simple name change can do everything, but it would at least highlight the considerable strengths of your script while de-emphasizing the more formulaic aspects.

Super Friends is a smart, well written, quick paced romantic comedy and I’m glad I had the opportunity to read it. As with virtually all romantic comedies (including my own), you pretty much know where the story is going to end up. But with Super friends, getting there was a really fun ride.

Lifelong friends Hannah and Sully share a similar incompetence when it comes to the bedroom. As we come to find out each of the main characters has had their share of sexual mishaps and the writer brings us along for a hilarious glance into their lives.

FORMATTING: This story is clearly formatted correctly but there are a lot of dashes in the description that are slightly distracting. But only slightly.

LOGLINE: Childhood friends Hannah and Sully suck at hooking up because they both lack confidence in the bedroom, so to help him snag the girl next door while she reels in a hunky colleague they make a pact to stay "just friends" as they practice the Kama Sutra on each other.

I’m not crazy about this logline because of the word “childhood”. The subject matter and the childhood reference would seem in conflict and thus confusing.

How about something like:

Sexually incompetent lifelong friends Hannah and Sully reluctantly formulate a pact to remain “just friends” as they look to one another for the experience each needs to land the object of their desires.

HOOK: This story grabbed my attention right away. It was witty, funny and immediately made me want to invest my time in it.

MAIN CHARACTERS: Both Sully and Hannah are likeable and that’s extremely important in this story. As a reader, I wanted each of them to succeed in their individual quests but I was also rooting for them to come to the same conclusion that I had; that they should be together.

PLOT: A plot whereby two friends search for the same thing only to discover that what they were looking for was right in front of them for their entire lives isn’t a reinvention of the wheel but this writer’s approach is definitely unique. This writer brings in a fresh approach in a quick witted and very professional way.

My only real concern is the use of so many flashbacks. In my opinion, I would scrap most of them and concentrate on the present day. After one or two it was more than evident that our heroes were a mess in the sack. The flashbacks got to be a little redundant.

I would like to have seen a little more character development for the minor characters such as Dougie. He plays a fairly big role in the end but I didn’t get any feel for him as a character. The same goes for Dee. I read through the script pretty carefully and still feel like I would like to know more about the Black and White Ball because it plays such a heavy part throughout the story.

The story moved along at a very quick pace and kept me absolutely interested from beginning to end. I’m talking every page here. I wondered how the end of the story would unfold. I mean I pretty much figured out what would happen but I wondered how the writer would pull it off. Lo and behold I found it to be very befitting with the rest of the story. Great job.

VISUALIZATION: This writer clearly has talent and that talent is conveyed to the reader during the entire story. I was able to visualize the surroundings and the people virtually every step of the way. I could almost smell the bar scenes. Very good job.

TIMELINES: With so many sluglines, action and descriptions sequences, the reader would benefit with more time references. Day / Night / Afternoon, etc.

OVERALL: This is obviously an extremely well written story. I’m glad my screenplay isn’t sitting on the shelf next to this one for comparison. This writer knows how to tell a story in a clear, concise and snappy way.

OVERALL – SUPER FRIENDS is an amusing comedy that deftly finds the middle ground between romantic comedy and broad sex romp. At times it has the warmth of WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, then without missing a beat transitions to the more ribald tone of AMERICAN PIE. If executed well, this could turn into a successful crossover movie that would bring in audiences of both genders in equal numbers.

STRUCTURE/PLOT – Structurally SUPER FRIENDS is sound, with the characters and situation set up early, and driving toward the inevitable conclusion. A few minor tweaks could make this already fun script even stronger.

That said, the way that SUPER FRIENDS travels through its main characters’ experiences is professionally done. Even really strong scripts don’t always flow well, but this one succeeds in that department. Smart dialogue and clever transitions keep the audience moving quickly from one
beat to the next and that is what makes this script really stand out.

CHARACTERS – Sully and Hannah are both likeable characters who are easy to identify with. We are given insight into where they come from and where they are from the very first scene in the movie, giving the audience rooting interest in the both of them from very early on. They are detailed and layered and make a great pair. The peripheral characters are a little less detailed, but a little bit more character development would add a great layer to an already intriguing script.

DIALOGUE – The dialogue is the real strength of this very good script. It is not just interesting, but it is used expertly as an opportunity to move the story, working as exposition, action, and even transition. So often scripts are written with dialogue that is simply functional, telling important information but doing little else. It’s very refreshing to read a screenplay in which dialogue is given the opportunity to really help drive a story. Even more amazing is that SUPER FRIENDS manages to use dialogue to such effect without feeling too “talky” or too much like a stage play.

SUMMARY – SUPER FRIENDS is a very good script, with some truly excellent elements. It has a good story that is propelled forward by smartly written dialogue and transitions. It follows two very likeable characters as they search for something that they ultimately have to find in each other. While there is little doubt that Sully and Hannah will end up together by the end of the story, the path they follow to find that connection is an interesting one, shown to us in interesting ways. Some minor changes, such as layering the peripheral characters a bit more, would turn this already very solid and well written script into a great one.

Bravo!

Let me preface by saying, I'm nowhere near your target demographic. It's a date movie that is really tight to formula. Also I don't know where else to put Dais is spelled Dias in multiple places.

Pros : You know exactly what the beats and hit them precisely. At pg 10, I knew pretty much what was going to happen and the rough speed with which it will happen. I feel like you're probably kind of an analytical person and distilled the genre into ingredients.

Cons : It feels too familiar to me. I feel like I've seen most of it before. Granted, it's not just the writing that has to provide the twist. If the leads were Zach Galifinakis and Melissa McCarthy then it suddenly has the depth of being a movie where the maladjusted people aren't just beautiful people in glasses. If it was Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence in the leads, well I don't know that any writer can make them great. A lot of the jokes felt like slightly tweaked / heightened things I'd seen elsewhere.

On the whole, if you were or are already working as writer you'll continue working but I'd imagine to break through it needs that streak of originality where a reader / buyer knows that they can only get a writer with your voice by going through you.