This story reads pretty fast - even with some over written prose but nonetheless shows that the writer has some nice licks.
The thing that struck and surprised me was that yes - you could probably lose 6-7 pages because of said 'over-written' stuff BUT there are just as many scenes that could be slightly expanded for clarity and get back said 6-7 pages.
I understand this is a story which the author wrote many years ago and the reason in all likelihood for said over/under writing but it is the story I read, hence the comments.
As for the story itself, it started out well enough (apart for said under-written scenes) and I could visualize Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts and thought - nice touches, some good dialogue etc.
But as the story went on the clarity started to shift and I found myself getting somewhat lost through a general lack of clarity - due mostly - to under-written scenes.
In the end I wasn't sure if Hugh Grant had driven a) Julia Roberts mad to actually 'kill' Colin Farrell b) it was only a blank round and he was in on it only for Hugh to kill him for real afterward or c) Colin never knew anything and Hugh played them all...
I appreciate that the "over the top" response by Julia's dad firing at Hugh was supposed to be a 'post-shadow' to make it quite logical that Julia's "over the top" reaction of shooting Colin was 'predictable' and therefore part of Hugh's 'master plan' that needed Julia to react the way she did in order to make Colin's demise possible...
See what I mean!?
Sorry but imho it really needs a major overall in order to make the story play.
However, as previously stated I appreciate this is a story written some time ago and I'm sure if Lauri wants to improve it she could easily do so within 40-50 hours of work with the knowledge amassed since -
The thing that struck and surprised me was that yes - you could probably lose 6-7 pages because of said 'over-written' stuff BUT there are just as many scenes that could be slightly expanded for clarity and get back said 6-7 pages.
I understand this is a story which the author wrote many years ago and the reason in all likelihood for said over/under writing but it is the story I read, hence the comments.
As for the story itself, it started out well enough (apart for said under-written scenes) and I could visualize Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts and thought - nice touches, some good dialogue etc.
But as the story went on the clarity started to shift and I found myself getting somewhat lost through a general lack of clarity - due mostly - to under-written scenes.
In the end I wasn't sure if Hugh Grant had driven a) Julia Roberts mad to actually 'kill' Colin Farrell b) it was only a blank round and he was in on it only for Hugh to kill him for real afterward or c) Colin never knew anything and Hugh played them all...
I appreciate that the "over the top" response by Julia's dad firing at Hugh was supposed to be a 'post-shadow' to make it quite logical that Julia's "over the top" reaction of shooting Colin was 'predictable' and therefore part of Hugh's 'master plan' that needed Julia to react the way she did in order to make Colin's demise possible...
See what I mean!?
Sorry but imho it really needs a major overall in order to make the story play.
However, as previously stated I appreciate this is a story written some time ago and I'm sure if Lauri wants to improve it she could easily do so within 40-50 hours of work with the knowledge amassed since -
with much respect,
Jim.