I'm not sure why this has been uploaded to Amazon Studios. Scripts must be between 85 and 160 pages to be eligible.
This is actually a fun fantasy piece.
I just have nitpicking observations: - watch your tenses; they are mixed throughout and amongst sentences. - there are sentences with unclear visuals: example, Kaynala gives Xinlao a blow kiss = I think should be, Kaynala blows Xinlao a kiss. otherwise, I'm not sure what a "blow kiss" is. - some instances, I could not tell if they were typos or TXT speak: example, Dood, that's gross. My mom is ike, 80. - many extraneous details; some add texture to the story, others are too specific. "Tony cooks 2-minute noodles [in the microwave]. BEEP. Cooking's done. Tony stirs in the flavoring. He starts eating the noodles."
keep the writing concise and visual. also, don't direct the actors. Search for a proper balance of texture and overwriting.
This is actually a fun fantasy piece.
I just have nitpicking observations:
- watch your tenses; they are mixed throughout and amongst sentences.
- there are sentences with unclear visuals: example, Kaynala gives Xinlao a blow kiss = I think should be, Kaynala blows Xinlao a kiss. otherwise, I'm not sure what a "blow kiss" is.
- some instances, I could not tell if they were typos or TXT speak: example, Dood, that's gross. My mom is ike, 80.
- many extraneous details; some add texture to the story, others are too specific. "Tony cooks 2-minute noodles [in the microwave]. BEEP. Cooking's done. Tony stirs in the flavoring. He starts eating the noodles."
keep the writing concise and visual. also, don't direct the actors. Search for a proper balance of texture and overwriting.