1
out of
1
people found the following review helpful:
Outstanding Script
“That Year in Saigon” displays the same passionate romance of “Casablanca” and the uproarious comedy of “Good Morning, Vietnam” and “The Americanization of Emily,” shored up by an impressive rogues’ gallery of supporting characters. This is an outstanding romantic-comedy script by two extremely talented writers.
0
out of
0
people found the following review helpful:
A jewel of its kind.
"Originally captivating, brilliantly sarcastic, 'laugh-out-loud' humorous, yet vividly and painfully descriptive of the behind the scenes landscape of life, romance and politics of the 1971 Saigon. A jewel of its kind."
0
out of
0
people found the following review helpful:
A Vietnam of romance and entertainment; not of war this time!
Premise and title
During the Vietnam War, we explore the love and office plus entertainment work lives of three women; it’s an entertainment, office work, and love story shielded against the war tale domination as it has the historical Vietnam War time setting. That is the story concept of ‘That Year in Saigon’. It’s original and unique, not like the usual Vietnam War films where the show of the day is jungle warfare and the like. It’s an interesting concept and that earns it a compelling hook.
The title ‘That Year in Saigon’ is a good choice as it reflects the fact that the screenplay tale has a setting of back-then called Saigon in a certain year, thereby being of story relevance.
Structure and setting
I must say in spite of the fact that the story right from its screenplay’s beginning to the end is interesting; it has no evidence of clear 3-Act structure. In fact it’s not written in 3-Act structure; the writing was done in perhaps a free style pacing. However, the movie would still be interesting.
The story’s major time setting is the year 1971, and a little bit of 1972 for the last scenes. The major place setting is back then called Saigon.
Protagonists and stakes
We have three lead characters, all female: Debbie, Constance, and Katarina; they are considerably well-portrayed as so. At some point, Katarina is at stake of losing her life as there is a plan to kill her, she also stands a risk of dying in a plane crash; we also realize she stands the risk of losing her lover. Constance is likely to lose her job due to her excessive philanthropic giving away of organizational provisions. At some point we are worried Debbie could die because of certain corporal pain.
Dialogue and cinematic value
The dialogue is natural and real. Katarina’s dialogue gives her a strikingly recognizably distinct voice; she’s a spitfire and has a lot of gangster talk. Besides dialogue, the script successfully lends itself to visual storytelling.
Special quality
One greatly recognizable special quality of ‘That Year in Saigon’ is that, not like the usual Vietnam War films where the show of the day is jungle warfare and the like, this time round, we are taken into a Vietnam of romance, office work, and entertainment. It’s an entertainment, office work, and love story shielded against the war tale domination as it has the historical Vietnam War time setting.
Favorite quotes
My favorite dialogue quote from ‘That Year in Saigon’…
RUGGED MARINE #2
And your pal was green with envy.
RUGGED MARINE #1
Cowards hate heroes.
-Page 120
My favorite speech quote from ‘That Year in Saigon’…
Too easy. You insult my
intelligence.
-USO WHITE MP, Page 8
Recommendation
Recommendation 1
If a clear 3-Act structure is shot into the screen-play story, it will greatly increase ‘That Year in Saigon’ compelling hook; it will better portray the three lead characters as being so, and even give them longer strikingly recognizable stakes. This means inventing up antagonism against them, the kind that will ride us through the 3-Act structure’s plot-points. I must say all their presently in-story lovers, Brett who has a wife, full-of-fight and life hardening conservativeness Ricardo, and Josh who finds it so easy to leave Constance alone for a freely relinquish-able volunteering want, should all turn out super antagonists against the ladies who must fight hard to deepen their relationship with their newly found far better lovers and husbands to be. The ex-lovers should open up a deep warfare against the girls. These antagonists should stretch out their warfare from love-life to also the ladies’ work through the assistance of already in-story hellish characters that include: Master SGT. Malcolm, Colonel Tran, and the Rude MP. To spice up the whole story, these girls’ new lovers should be younger than the ex’s and the girls themselves and should be of little financial muscles compared to the ladies and the ex’s. These girls’ ex-lovers should cause job loss not only to the ladies’ lovers but also to the girls. It should be hard getting new jobs as the ex’s should be having authoritative influence over lots of employment opportunities. The comedy should be maintained, automatically all the proposed antagonism development portrays drama. Of course the female protagonists should triumph over all adversity, however, earnest care should be taken not to make the new boys or lovers the adversity solvers since it will destroy the portrayal of the ladies as the protagonists; the ladies should stand out the heroes. In the end, as a tag after the climax, the 3 female protagonists then should marry their new far better lovers. This should be on the New Year’s Day of 1972; dialogue phrases such as happy New Year’s Day as already in the screenplay should as well this time round not miss out on this wedding. Then about the just past 1971 life venture, we can say That Year in Saigon! Just like that, a 3-act structure audience-charming romantic comedy-drama will have rocked the audience! It’s an easy step for you to advance this screenplay to the kind with the story I have already told since you already have a nice 128 page draft; it’s now simply a matter of incorporations and deletions in a world you’ve already built. Go ahead crack a big deal of justice to ‘That Year in Saigon’.
Recommendation 2
Check your use of O.S’s and V.O’s, basing on Elaine Bossik’s teaching of the directions usage, I recommend V.O’s take over all electronic dialogue: radio broadcast, phone conversations and the like, and O.S’s take over all non-electronic off-screen dialogue formatting.
Recommendation 3
Pg 115: Good riddance to bad rubbish. can’t imagine… (Katarina dialogue) Recommendation: ‘can’t’ should begin with capital C since it begins the sentence.
Finally…
If my advice of advancing or modifying the screenplay story is followed, ‘That Year in Saigon’ will make a great movie. However, even as it is, it’s got a compelling hook. The modification is a betterment salvaging trip however. To the writers Diana J. Dell and Carol A. Dingle, great work!
During the Vietnam War, we explore the love and office plus entertainment work lives of three women; it’s an entertainment, office work, and love story shielded against the war tale domination as it has the historical Vietnam War time setting. That is the story concept of ‘That Year in Saigon’. It’s original and unique, not like the usual Vietnam War films where the show of the day is jungle warfare and the like. It’s an interesting concept and that earns it a compelling hook.
The title ‘That Year in Saigon’ is a good choice as it reflects the fact that the screenplay tale has a setting of back-then called Saigon in a certain year, thereby being of story relevance.
Structure and setting
I must say in spite of the fact that the story right from its screenplay’s beginning to the end is interesting; it has no evidence of clear 3-Act structure. In fact it’s not written in 3-Act structure; the writing was done in perhaps a free style pacing. However, the movie would still be interesting.
The story’s major time setting is the year 1971, and a little bit of 1972 for the last scenes. The major place setting is back then called Saigon.
Protagonists and stakes
We have three lead characters, all female: Debbie, Constance, and Katarina; they are considerably well-portrayed as so. At some point, Katarina is at stake of losing her life as there is a plan to kill her, she also stands a risk of dying in a plane crash; we also realize she stands the risk of losing her lover. Constance is likely to lose her job due to her excessive philanthropic giving away of organizational provisions. At some point we are worried Debbie could die because of certain corporal pain.
Dialogue and cinematic value
The dialogue is natural and real. Katarina’s dialogue gives her a strikingly recognizably distinct voice; she’s a spitfire and has a lot of gangster talk. Besides dialogue, the script successfully lends itself to visual storytelling.
Special quality
One greatly recognizable special quality of ‘That Year in Saigon’ is that, not like the usual Vietnam War films where the show of the day is jungle warfare and the like, this time round, we are taken into a Vietnam of romance, office work, and entertainment. It’s an entertainment, office work, and love story shielded against the war tale domination as it has the historical Vietnam War time setting.
Favorite quotes
My favorite dialogue quote from ‘That Year in Saigon’…
RUGGED MARINE #2
And your pal was green with envy.
RUGGED MARINE #1
Cowards hate heroes.
-Page 120
My favorite speech quote from ‘That Year in Saigon’…
Too easy. You insult my
intelligence.
-USO WHITE MP, Page 8
Recommendation
Recommendation 1
If a clear 3-Act structure is shot into the screen-play story, it will greatly increase ‘That Year in Saigon’ compelling hook; it will better portray the three lead characters as being so, and even give them longer strikingly recognizable stakes. This means inventing up antagonism against them, the kind that will ride us through the 3-Act structure’s plot-points. I must say all their presently in-story lovers, Brett who has a wife, full-of-fight and life hardening conservativeness Ricardo, and Josh who finds it so easy to leave Constance alone for a freely relinquish-able volunteering want, should all turn out super antagonists against the ladies who must fight hard to deepen their relationship with their newly found far better lovers and husbands to be. The ex-lovers should open up a deep warfare against the girls. These antagonists should stretch out their warfare from love-life to also the ladies’ work through the assistance of already in-story hellish characters that include: Master SGT. Malcolm, Colonel Tran, and the Rude MP. To spice up the whole story, these girls’ new lovers should be younger than the ex’s and the girls themselves and should be of little financial muscles compared to the ladies and the ex’s. These girls’ ex-lovers should cause job loss not only to the ladies’ lovers but also to the girls. It should be hard getting new jobs as the ex’s should be having authoritative influence over lots of employment opportunities. The comedy should be maintained, automatically all the proposed antagonism development portrays drama. Of course the female protagonists should triumph over all adversity, however, earnest care should be taken not to make the new boys or lovers the adversity solvers since it will destroy the portrayal of the ladies as the protagonists; the ladies should stand out the heroes. In the end, as a tag after the climax, the 3 female protagonists then should marry their new far better lovers. This should be on the New Year’s Day of 1972; dialogue phrases such as happy New Year’s Day as already in the screenplay should as well this time round not miss out on this wedding. Then about the just past 1971 life venture, we can say That Year in Saigon! Just like that, a 3-act structure audience-charming romantic comedy-drama will have rocked the audience! It’s an easy step for you to advance this screenplay to the kind with the story I have already told since you already have a nice 128 page draft; it’s now simply a matter of incorporations and deletions in a world you’ve already built. Go ahead crack a big deal of justice to ‘That Year in Saigon’.
Recommendation 2
Check your use of O.S’s and V.O’s, basing on Elaine Bossik’s teaching of the directions usage, I recommend V.O’s take over all electronic dialogue: radio broadcast, phone conversations and the like, and O.S’s take over all non-electronic off-screen dialogue formatting.
Recommendation 3
Pg 115: Good riddance to bad rubbish. can’t imagine… (Katarina dialogue) Recommendation: ‘can’t’ should begin with capital C since it begins the sentence.
Finally…
If my advice of advancing or modifying the screenplay story is followed, ‘That Year in Saigon’ will make a great movie. However, even as it is, it’s got a compelling hook. The modification is a betterment salvaging trip however. To the writers Diana J. Dell and Carol A. Dingle, great work!
< Previous | Page: 1 | Next >
