All Reviews

I was drawn to read this by the simple and dramatic log line. It sounds like an exotic world (camel racing?!) plus a sad true story. The premise is good, it's certainly a premise that drew my interest. It is written well and the drama flows, making it a pacy read.

One disappointment was the unprofessional non-standard formatting (eg. dialogue in italics, not using Courier font) but that is an easy thing to fix.

I'd say the characterisation and dialogue are a little basic, maybe a bit more imagination could be injected into that? For example one of the film's bad guys used insults like 'fat fool' and Humza was a bit flat and one dimensional. He and other people were just Bad with a capital 'B' - black not grey, not real people.

It's unremittingly grim, and all that makes it a gripping read, but with reservations... I kept reading to see how the characther's plight was resolved, but I wanted greater depth, one of those 'human spirit rising above the situation' stories.

Or if it's not that then maybe I'd expect more original incident, surprises like an adventure story. I expected the escape across the desert to be made more of, although I was glad of the racing drama. Maybe more could be made of that side of the plot?

As it turns out it doesn't surprise enough, the scenes are well structured and interesting, but as a whole it didn't work for me. It's neither a realistic character drama (characters are too black and white) nor is it a pacy adventure story with good plot twists and turns. It sits somewhere between the two.

I wondered what it what about thematically? The resolution is all about hopelessness, it was hopeless for Jamal at the start, hopeless all the way through the middle, and then hopeless at the end too. I'm not sure how he changed - except to accept that grim fate.

The bad people were all bad, performing atrocities with no thought or any remorse, likeways the good guys were good all the way through.

I didn't really like the story splitting between Samia and Jamal. I think it would work better to focus just on the one story, that of Jamal. The sub-plot about Samia was another tale of misery, but it didn't connect enough to the boy's story - just at the end.

I was also disappointed that the main characters were passive. Amir suddenly becomes the hero for a third act rescue, Samia and Jamal do nothing to bring about their own resolution.

I think this script could be good with some major work on the structure. This writer can certainly write and keep the action flowing, he's found a fascinating world for his film, I'd just say he should work on the character's arcs and the themes and make sure the story fits all the way through. I'm sorry to suggest a drastic reworking, but that's what I'd do if this was my screenplay!

I still love the log line, I love the world of camel racing and rich meets poor... but it needs a clear hero, his change and a good resolution - maybe even a (slightly) happy ending! It just lost me in it's unremitting sadness and casual brutality (rape and cruelty as mere plot points) there was no ray of hope or humanity, all that meant it's not a story I enjoyed spending time with.

The logline caught my eye, and the script certainly caught my attention. It's a very intense story, dark and powerful and moving. It has action elements, but grounded in a real life situation that could help bring attention to human trafficking. I remember thinking that movie "Trade" was too sensational in dealing with a serious subject, and I feel that as well here. But it has to work as a movie. I get that. And it definitely kept me reading. I think it works very well as a film in weaving together an absorbing story.

After reading the script I did some research online to learn about this and it's for real. I can't believe kids were actually bought or kidnapped. I visited Dubai two years ago and had heard about the races but all we did was shop (and ski in that crazy indoor skiing area)

Anyway, to get to the script: I think it's quite powerful and perhaps could use another pass to fix up the dialogue. Perhaps the dialogue has been kept basic since it will be spoken in another language? That is the sense I get in some places. There are some pretty intense visuals and I got the sense that it would be a very visual film even though the setting is somewhat basic and limited.

But overall, it would make a very compelling project. Its grimness, I think, is a call to action for all those watching. Slavery, and child slavery, are still out there in today's world.

This script brought forth a very compelling issue that I had no idea even existed. It was a very entertaining read and I can see it doing well as a film. Some of the dialogue and character aspects can be worked on. There's just enough drama, action and emotion for this to be a real hit.