All Reviews

Jack, this story was drop dead funny. It flows perfectly... I could picture it as a movie when I read it. Also was constantly thinking of which today's famous actors could play certain parts. Man, this story is so funny, I even chose to look at all of the Table Reads.

Good job man.

VERY good job.

So, I really enjoyed this script. I've opened dozens of scripts on this site and usually don't finish. They just don't hold my attention long enough to stick through my busy and distraction-filled life. But yours did. Kudos for that.

As for execution, this is good comedy and I can see this being made.

Some suggestions...

Even though it's listed as 110 pages, it shows up 124 for me, which I know is because of the RTF conversion, but it still felt a little too long. The point that it lagged was around when Anna left for Italy. It took a little too long for the action to pick back up and get there for me. (Perhaps shorten the flashback and stuff around that portion).

One other consideration... they say not to name characters similarly but you've got Jason, Jonah and Jaime. Especially since Jason and Jonah are always together, you might change one of them to make it easier on the reader to distinguish between the two. But that's really a nitpick.

The draft could also use a good stiff edit for grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

OVERALL... I was very entertained. I think this would make a great movie. It's a great script (obviously... ya know with making the semi-finals and all.) ;)


P.s. When the P.A. said a man claiming to be Anna's "wife"... was that mistake or intentional? B/c I'm pretty sure he's her "husband." If it was intentional, I'd make Jason react to that somehow.

Jack and Frank....been following this script for the past 5 months....this is an absolute hysterical read! Glad to see this is finally getting the serious attention it deserves. BTW...your Table Read for "The Pass" was well done and fact that 2 other table reads were also submitted for your script is an overall tribute to you gents. Wishing you the best!

With respect to Gary's previous review/comments......hey Gary....before you get into reviewing/critiquing scripts...how about first learning how to put a few sentences together with out misspelled/misused words…are you kidding me!

Carmine from Philly

Come on people we need to get original... Hall Pass was already done and all your doing is putting a celebrity influance on to it. I'm tired of remakes and copied trash. Lets get original people.