All Reviews

The southern Miss. R. is a great location to set an action film. With the tugboats, barges, and freighters there are some really big action set pieces. In addition, with the six women terrorists, you've got the makings of a great "girls with guns" film. These chicks don't just have guns, they have a helicopter, a freighter, a V-22 Osprey, bombs, and plutonium- Just everything you need to throw a fait do do.

My one concern has to do with delineating the lead character. The three Arrieux brothers are pretty equal till late in the script, when Blackie takes the lead. In my (limited) contact with producers, I've been informed that audiences want to follow one charcter throughout the story. In addition, I'm told that stars want to be on just about every page.

A few notes"

p13 Diane makes love to Eddie, then kills him with one punch. What a woman!

p36 Would a German physicist use a term like "Get out of Dodge?" When Sigrid uses the same phrase, it's in the context of her late son who played cowboys, so I think it's okay then. However, the reference to Gunsmoke is dated.

p56 Dragging the two nuke scientists out. I think it's better to show them being shot onscreen.

p91 Alligators on the V-22 Osprey! This screenplay must be filmed. That's enough to make me buy a ticket.

p95 Debbie's "Miss Scarlett" dialogue seems out of character.

That's all I've got. Remember, this is all subjective, so feel free to ignore any or all of it. (And I found no typos).

No big deal: Needs FADE IN on page 1. Maybe it got lost in translation.

This piece has nice lean, action lines. No fluff.

Your Technical descriptions are right on.

Page 15, I liked the surprise of Eddie getting killed.

Being a fisherman all my life, I wondered why you didn't use Starboard and Port
instead of right and left. Is it a southern thing?

Around page 53, we find out what the gals objectives are. Nice.

She thinks she is Cochise? Is that another script of yours?

I loved the action line: Kambiri coming out of the bathroom, pulling up her
panties-then her pants. Great visual. Certainly would bring chuckles to audience,
not to mention something else.

Kambiri dialogue about lashing a woman to a bush is very original and tough. Loved it.

I liked the toughness of Mrs. Pichon.

I also liked the O.S. shooting of the African Man and the Japanese man.

I liked packed with sugar to stop the bleeding.

Page 71- Another hint: Shove their faces down into a pile of plutonium and
force them to eat it. Great!

Page 80- "Get your fucking hands off my helm, bitch." Reminded me of Harrison
Ford in Airforce One: "Get off my plane!" or Ripley "Leave her alone, bitch!" something
like that.

Page 96- Again, I think if you used Starboard and Port it would be more salty.

Page 120- I liked the anchor pin. It anchored the ending.

A very good job. Period.

I'd go see this movie in a minute.

Skimming through looking for changes.

Notes Algiers Point (draft 3)

The women are very blood thirsty before they meet up with the protagonist. Seems
that they are not quite as violent then. We wonder why they didn't just shoot the good guys.

Plenty of excitement on the towboat and the ship.

When the barge crashes into the ship I was a little surprised by the amount
of damage on deck of the ship. It didn't feel right.

There is a lot going on. I felt this on the first two drafts as well. I kept
going back and checking to get the names straight.

Okay; finished the third draft. I didn't notice any major changes.

Good read.