All Reviews

I really liked this script, it is very fresh and fun, an interesting rewrite of history. Ben Franklin the new action movie star, a Revolutionary War James Bond with Betsy Ross the new Bond Girl. Some of the technology leap of time in the script will require a good production design to be consistent with what materials were available during the stories time frame but it could work. The mix of modern euphemisms and slang is funny at times out of place in others, but when it works it works well. The plot reveals were well done and the story moved along at a good pace to a dramatic ending. There is a slight unevenness with the feel of the script's humor, going from romantic comedy to street comedy, sometimes a little too gangster crass but that could be smoothed out with good direction or a little polish. This could defiantly become a franchise if done well and I would hope this project moves forward to production. Well Done!

Epic Rap Battles of History's Ben Franklin is Funnier.

fun fun fun fun ! me loved this even though i didnt get it :P i want to see it with the production of hollywood and do it right because this is awesome. good job guys!! :D

Yeah this was cool. Especially for a table read. It was basically a fun time and that's usually what counts in showbiz, in my opinion.

But I couldn't stop. Brilliant & hilarious. I'm not sure if mid-America will accept the sacrilegious treatment of George Washington, but this has all the makings of a great cult film. Couple of comments. The fight scenes seemed a bit long, but would probably be faster without the explanatory dialogue. In the opening scene with the Hessians, they seemed more likable than Ben. Could they be made a bit more villainous? I could not hear/understand the explanation of the cherry tree blackmail; that may have just been this particular table read rather than the written dialogue.

Very rarely does "revisionist" humor like this work, but the characters in this script are so invested in their objectives that this not only makes for a great comedy, but also an awesome action/adventure!

This was as entertaining a table read as one could expect. The props and action added some value to the experience while the acting was above what has been typically encountered so far on this site.

The strengths of the story itself, for me, included the humor and the simple premise (or idea) of taking iconic Revolutionary War Era heroes/figures and putting them in what I would describe as a James Bond movie. There were several clever gadgets and using Franklin, one of our greatest inventors, was the perfect choice for this concept. You could have gone with Washington or Jefferson in the lead but I think you've made the best choice.

The only real failure of the story was that it meanders just a little from time to time. It may simply have been the context of watching the script unfold in this "table read' format, but I was lost in the plot at some points and I felt like structurally, the story could be more cohesive. What I mean is that some scenes don't feel like they logically move the script forward.

Two specific things I'd recommend are trying to make some sections of dialog feel less expository and/or long-winded and some of the race-related humor, while funny, got a little repetitive. Mix it up a bit.

Let me finally give a big BRAVO to the cast of this read. From what I've seen so far at Amazon Studios, I'd definitely give you my vote for the January contest. Congratulations!

Unusual approach, but really original. Liked it more than a lot of straightforward table reads. This seems to work really well.

Script-wise it’s funny, and although I’m British and therefore not fully educated regarding American presidents, I get the irony. But then I pay attention to that sort of thing, and have watched many documentaries and based-on-a-true-story films, so I think I have learned a fair bit about U.S. history. The Simpsons helps too.

But, premise-wise, will this sell abroad? Probably, in a limited capacity. Will the Japanese “get” the cherry reference?

I know the lion’s share of U.S. films’ forecasts are based on domestic gross, and therefore the budget too (and this film would need a big budget), so a studio will certainly question how many people will go to see a film where the Founding Fathers are recast as action heroes/villains.

Although I absolutely loved this, I think the courage to make a film like this may only exist in the independent sector. A Kick-Ass type of arrangement.

I give the premise 5 stars here, because I'm reviewing this from a subjective perspective, and while no one will argue that it's not a great premise, what I'm trying to say is - it's a risk.

So you’ve sold one ticket, anyway.

As for the actual script itself, loved the opening credits, riffing on James Bond a little.

Early establishers show Washington is a funny character, and that this movie is something we’ve never seen before. It’s going to be original if nothing else.

Franklin is a kick-ass action character, and the exchanges between him and Washington amused me early on and left me full of confidence about the skill of the writer. “Head-butt… patent pending, asshole.”

I was listening to this in my open-plan office and the line “Very model of a major general” made me snort in laughter. I drew some looks.

And so it went. What could have been a one-joke story kept the laughs and action coming, and the little nuggets from history that kept getting thrown up were really well done. Even in the UK we are familiar with the cherry tree story, so the flashback and return to the traumatised Washington again had me laughing out loud.

I thought the note in the book telegraphed the Arnold twist, but then it turns out to be a red herring, which was unexpected. But it was still a disappointment at the time and I kind of lost interest for a while. Can the note be kept until Franklin NEEDS to see it? I don’t know if I’m alone in this but when I’m pointed somewhere in a really obvious way, I tend to slack off a little. I’m not saying cut it completely, but give the viewer something to think about rather than force-feeding the obvious clue.

One more tiny criticism: the Adams/Franklin fight goes on a bit too long. At one point I was reminded of the Peter vs Chicken fight in Family Guy. Can this be compacted a little? It’s highly-choreographed, and although you do need SOME choreography, a lot of what is written will be down to the director.

In terms of the film itself, perhaps a tighter edit to erradicate those occasional actor slips would mean a smoother ride, but on the whole a really fun way of keeping the read-thru interesting.

Those small points aside – and they really are small points – I really enjoyed this. Well done to all involved, from the writer through to the cast and crew.


My star ratings explained:

Premise (5 stars): explained in full at the top of the review.
Structure (5 stars): no problems, has all the traditional turning points without them being obvious.
Character (4 stars): just dropping a star simply because of the silly nature of them. Washington was by far the best of the characters in terms of complexity and execution, while Franklin himself occasionally fell into typical action-man mode, which I know is kind-of the point, but a few more flaws would go a long way. The love interest's betrayal and her petty reasoning was - for me -brilliant, but I'm not sure everyone will get the irony.
Dialogue (4 stars): perhaps I'm missing a few jokes, but there seemed to be a lot of explaining and Franklin denying he was a spy constantly got slightly repetitive. Overall, nothing fatal, just a minor niggle now and again.
Emotion (3 stars): it's a fun concept, and no doubt I'd watch it, but at the moment, it does lack emotional depth for me. But that's not to say it's a poor script -- I didn't feel much after watching Kick Ass or Spider-Man or The Karate Kid, but I enjoyed them while I watched them. So it's no Dark Knight, but it IS fun.

This is exactly the way history has happened. After viewing this piece, I feel a stronger connection to my American heritage. I did find it very informative that women could wear mustaches. Knowledge is power.