All Reviews

Discord is very well done. It reads fast and would make a good old-fashion blood and guts horror film. Stephen King once said that if he couldn't scare the reader on every page, he would go for the gross-out. He would take the chill and thrills anyway he could get them. The writer has succeeded here. Period.

For a horror, I liked the touch of romance here which felt real.

I have to admit, I couldn't find anything of substance that would improve the piece.

My notes are minor:

I would've liked to see a minor description for Kalie and Dale.

One issue that although is understandable are the amount of people we have to read through, but in this kind of story, it's unavoidable.

Page 28) DALE: It's what X want X I want to do. (Add what)

** I liked the sense of panic in the emergency room. All very visual.** It continued to set the tone of the piece.

Page 49) GEORGE: This is foreboding. (I'm not sure I would use that word: foreboding. Sounds almost Victorian. Maybe something else, like: Man! This f...ing sucks!

Page 55) I'm not sure if I would use the dialogue between Kalie and Dale at this point. (Maybe later in the piece.) She hugs him, tears streaming down her face. Skip above and go right to Farnsworth inspecting Gale. Just a thought. Your call.

Page 58) GEORGE: And that was just on our way back to the hospital. (Add way)

Page 63) The dialogue between Dale and Kalie works better here then on page 55, see above. Again your call.

Page 64 & 65) Big surprise here, but hell it's horror:-)))

All in all, a great job, Joe.

Good luck,

Richard Guimond