Bold Wolves starts out with a very gripping scene that builds the foundation for the story. The two main characters, Fia, and her twin sister, Bronwyn, are contrasted nicely. The conflict is setup with the antagonist, Roger Grey, and the story is off and running.
But then the story does a 180. From pages, 26 - 36 a world of things happen that change the tone of the story from a historical piece to something more supernatural. Not saying this can't be done, but it either needs to be done quicker or more ground work has to be done so the result is not so abrupt.
As a result of this shift in time, we also lose our antagonist. The story then takes a while to find its new conflict. We meet Owain, who becomes the emphasis of the story. Until we shift back to the sisters and their plight to end their curse.
I think you have some good characters to work with here, but I would shift the story to a workable time frame that allows the conflict to really build to a satisfying conclusion.
My main fault with the script is the dramatic shift in tone and the time frame. Centralizing the story to a workable time frame and introducing the supernatural elements earlier could help keep the story focused.
But then the story does a 180. From pages, 26 - 36 a world of things happen that change the tone of the story from a historical piece to something more supernatural. Not saying this can't be done, but it either needs to be done quicker or more ground work has to be done so the result is not so abrupt.
As a result of this shift in time, we also lose our antagonist. The story then takes a while to find its new conflict. We meet Owain, who becomes the emphasis of the story. Until we shift back to the sisters and their plight to end their curse.
I think you have some good characters to work with here, but I would shift the story to a workable time frame that allows the conflict to really build to a satisfying conclusion.
My main fault with the script is the dramatic shift in tone and the time frame. Centralizing the story to a workable time frame and introducing the supernatural elements earlier could help keep the story focused.