All Reviews

So close!

Just a few things which didn't jive for me:

1. Jessica's reaction to the missing gold. I didn't buy it. She's too attached to Ryan for that to propel her into the unknown. Her entire "get out of this town" story line could use some tightening.

2. Maybe I'm missing it, but the gold going missing from the hiding spot to the garden bush seemed messy, clumsy.

3. The ending didn't work for me. Not that she didn't get custody, but the final moments between them. The "All three" line doesn't work.

4. On the whole, I need more in the resolution/goodbye scene, more reality.

5. Some dialogue is stilted. The use of "cur" and some of the mother's other insults are forced.

I really like this. I'd love to work on this project and be a part of producing it as a test film.

Jesse Michener jessemichener@gmail.com

The writer shows a lot of heart and soul in this work. I love the title, and the main character, Ryan Slater (cue appropriate leading tween heartthrob of the day) is very appealing. It's got enough edge not to be totally over the top sappy. I could see this being made--great for Disney or Nick.