Winner: Script Spotlight: Zombies vs. Gladiators Rewrite
Finalist: Best Test Movie, Script Spotlight: Zombies vs. Gladiators Rewrite
Semifinalist: Best Test Movie, Best Script, Best Sci-Fi/Action Script, Script Spotlight: Zombies vs. Gladiators Rewrite
I would be OK with them listening to the songs, BUT with the dialog added in, it’s too grown up. Plus the dialog brings up age-inappropriate questions or uses words I don’t want them using – “it’s your lucky night”, “my first time . . .the first time”, “tramp”, “skanky hags”, “idiot”, “club”, “doody heap”, “is that a hoe, don’t get your hands dirty” etc. These words/references don’t belong in a kids movie. Plus, other than dancing all night and lying to their dad, the sisters did nothing to be “tramps” or “skanks”.
Anyway, the music is GREAT, I LOVE the songs! Wouldn’t it be fun to see Amanda Seyfried as December!!! That would be so cool. Live actors would make this a fabulous musical. That's my vote!
Other thoughts: I liked the concept but the characters needed more development for me. Yannick seemed weak, and I wanted him to show some umph! Why did December even like him and vice versa – they hardly talked. Maybe they could go on a walk, talk, or share some kind of experience together other than the bouquet handing out? Maybe show some of the conflict in December’s mind about her sisters. Maybe she could try to confide in Yannick but then hold back. Build the tension.
I’d like to know more about the other sisters too. It would be nice in the end to have their hearts softened toward their dad. Learning about their mother’s love for dancing seems to be enough to bring them back together as a family but it doesn’t happen.
I felt the gardener and fairy took over too much of the movie that could have been filled with more character development in other areas like Yannick or the other sisters. Specifically, the conversation where Yannick came to barrow the cloak and Bob and Franc got talking about the tutu, and Bob being fat, and her saying “no offense” etc. That whole conversation felt slow and awkward. They were very fun characters though, just too much of them.
Also when I’m watching a movie I want to be focused on the movie and characters so any cliché, or out of place dialog spoken by characters breaks me out of my movie trance especially if my brain goes to some other place where I’ve heard that line before.
A couple out of place moments for me: when Doyle said “I’m the beginning, middle, and end” (took me to the Bible) then right after he said that, during the song the boys said “holy shoes” (in reference to the worn out shoes of course) but the two comments back to back were distracting to me. Also Doyle said to the king “No, I will not try, I will do” and I swear he sounded like Yoda when he said it. Doyle also said “kindness begins with me” which sounded like a church song, though this bothered me less than his other lines. It’s all a matter of opinion. I'd say go through the dialog with a fine toothed comb for things like this and improve them, make the lines more unique.
This is such a good film already! I hope fine tuning the dialog and adding more to the character development will rise those parts of the movie up to meet the strength of the music (which I've been listening to a lot!). If that happens I think the movie will come together in a big way! Can’t wait to see what happens with it!