All Reviews

This revision fails to address any of the major AS notes re a) the supernatural origin of the zombies, b) the need for an an improved villain, or c) the need for a more engaging hero.

There are no significant changes in the story line. Most of the changes are in dialogue, and much of the new dialogue is stilted and/or anachronistic.

Lavinia's new lines suggest a romance novel:

"I follow my heart and I'll be a wife to the right man."

"I'm just blessed I had a chance to know you for a while."

"Strangely, my heart flutters again. A man of such strong will and might and a heart that longs only for freedom. A man that cannot be bought. I long for such a man!"


Anachronistic expressions include: "little creepy," "what a Roman reject," "piss me off," "pretty wild" and "awful mushy."

The VERY long and dense new "action" paragraph on page one is a struggle to get through. It's in marked contrast to the excellent action scenes in the original, which should have been used as a guide.

(Note that paragraphs of description should almost always be limited to four lines [not sentences].)

Also, since only generic figures are involved in this new scene, rather than characters we've "met," these events have no emotional meaning.

Finally, the reference to a gladiator being "zombie like" on page 1 doesn't make sense before the wolf has arrived and the zombie idea has been introduced.

There are multiple format, grammar, and punctuation issues, including using "an" for "and."

The action scenes are very descriptive and exciting. The elephants reminded me of one of the old westerns. Of course, the characters used swords instead of guns, but there was the same kind of energy and emotion. A good guy trying to stop the bad guys and get the girl. It's an interesting twist on an old formula that almost always works.

Overall, this script is great!

Cons:
The story lacks in a few structural elements, but makes up for it. There are a few punctuation issues noted. There is a significant difference noted between the two action scenes.

Pros:
The story builds up and has an unexpected twist with the romantic ending. The presence of a supernatural being is seen in the relationship shown. The energy used in this script is a formula used a lot in other scripts, however, the writer has nicely used his imagination to bring an action packed "good guy v. bad guy" story together with an Ancient Rome setting.

Overall I say "TWO THUMBS UP"!

This is a great script--very developed. It's a complete plot with well written characters and a very good pace. Also, the intrigue at the beginning of the script is a great hook. I enjoyed the character dynamics and the romantic aspect as well. It added another, believable, layer to the plot. Very well-written!

I don't read alot, but this kept my full attention. Also, I don't go to alot of movies, but this is one I would definitly see.

I loved the story of the gladiators and the zombies and their battles. I especially liked that I got to know the characters and got involved in their lives and their friendships. The story was great in that it was action packed but also had a romance story in it. Loved the ending and the final scenes that led up to it were surprising. Overall I would buy this movie.

This story caught my attention from the very beginning. I was drawn into the action right away. I enjoyed the many action scenes, but my favorite part was the love story that was woven as part of this. I could identify with the female character and I found myself cheering for her and hoping she would end up getting her man in the end.

Also, I really liked how the author showed two sides of the man. On one hand, he was super brave and strong, but he did seem to have a weakness for this woman. I loved how Roman mythology played a part in their relationship and it's clear that it wasn't a meeting by chance, but something planned by the Roman gods.

Nice blend of action and romance throught the script. It was a pleasure to read. I did notiice some formatting issues, but I did not figure those into my review, as they are relatively easy to fix and has no affect on the story.