Heard about this contest and thought it would be neat to read all the entries and share my thoughts, but there are so many I decided to read only the first five pages. If they grab me, I'll come back and post a review of the whole script.
I also read the original script and Amazon Script Department story notes, so I am using my interpretation of that for my comments. All intended to help craft the best possible script.
Pros on writing: Visual and formatted correctly.
Cons on writing: Over use of words slows down the pace
Biggest improvement: Looks like some set up of mystic zombie origin and it's interesting, though some might disconnect at Egypt, that factor didn't turn me off.
Biggest let down: Titus isn't introduced until page 5 and it's the same introduction. No emotional connection with the lead character.
I also read the original script and Amazon Script Department story notes, so I am using my interpretation of that for my comments. All intended to help craft the best possible script.
Pros on writing: Visual and formatted correctly.
Cons on writing: Over use of words slows down the pace
Biggest improvement: Looks like some set up of mystic zombie origin and it's interesting, though some might disconnect at Egypt, that factor didn't turn me off.
Biggest let down: Titus isn't introduced until page 5 and it's the same introduction. No emotional connection with the lead character.