5
out of
6
people found the following review helpful:
Cocaine Cowboy's second draft is Far out & Solid, Baby!!!!!!!
Vernon has tightened down the original scripts length and struck the right points of poer from our first draft...it also is very professionally done & I give props to Mr. Brown for his passion for the screenplay's genre theme...I would like to see more of Vernon's creitques,review & rating on my other scrips, if I'm lucky enough...but, I must say..no complaints here..this draft is far out & solid!...anyone else?..anyone...Beuller?
5
out of
6
people found the following review helpful:
Vernon Brown's Version kicks arse!
I agree with Watt...the script tightening works and gets to the point...his 'lighter' ending is needed in these hard times
4
out of
5
people found the following review helpful:
Great tight slapstick comedy.
I found the story a good read from start to finish.
The changes I would make are:
1. Make the Hollywood antagonists more menacing; I mean really bad-ass tough guys. This would require that they not be black. In these times just a hint of racist bias can kill a project.
2. Flesh out the ending more. We spent the whole story getting there, we need a page or two to bask in our victory.
There are a couple of places where the story slows a little. These would be great places to work in some of the comedy that was omitted.
Good work!
Looks like a good team building up here in line with the original Amazon concept of collaboration.
The changes I would make are:
1. Make the Hollywood antagonists more menacing; I mean really bad-ass tough guys. This would require that they not be black. In these times just a hint of racist bias can kill a project.
2. Flesh out the ending more. We spent the whole story getting there, we need a page or two to bask in our victory.
There are a couple of places where the story slows a little. These would be great places to work in some of the comedy that was omitted.
Good work!
Looks like a good team building up here in line with the original Amazon concept of collaboration.
2
out of
3
people found the following review helpful:
Marketable cheap to make comedy
The script reminds me of the slapstick comety we saw in the mid twentieth century. It should be cheap to produce. There.s not a lot of action outside of simple sets.
I think the development should play to the character development if Lou's character as he transforms from a meek real estate salesman to a super hero.
Of course the daughter never does appreciate his efforts,
There are some line by line items sent by private message. These can be public at the writer's discretion.
This looks like streaming video fodder.
I think the development should play to the character development if Lou's character as he transforms from a meek real estate salesman to a super hero.
Of course the daughter never does appreciate his efforts,
There are some line by line items sent by private message. These can be public at the writer's discretion.
This looks like streaming video fodder.
0
out of
0
people found the following review helpful:
Even more mind-blowing than the original version!
In fact, I'd dare say it is as kick-ass and compelling as the George C. Scott film, "Hardcore", which inspired this project. When this gets made, it will put "Boogie Nights" and "The People Versus Larry Flynt" to shame. (Never minding that Larry Flynt should be ashamed for offering $300,000 to Casey Anthony to pose nude in Hustler!)
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