First of all, I love jungle-set movies, admire serious historical westerns and Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian" is my favorite novel - so Ms. Donahue's premise seemed right up my alley and made me grab and read the script in one sitting.
I'm glad to report that TREASURE ROAD didn't disappoint. It's a sprawling epic much in the vein of THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUDGE ROY BEAN and BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID. It has the atmosphere of muddy Panamanian jungle down pat - you are in there, with the birds and monkeys and crocodiles... and grim men riding a string of mules through 40 miles of bandit-infested terrain from Panama City to the coast.
GOOD STUFF
At first, the characterizations seemed a bit weird - we have a hero with an improbable alliterative name of Randolph Ran Runnels who owns slaves and is so badass that COMANCHE are afraid of him! But of course (as the cover picture would have hinted to a less dense reader) Mr. Runnels was a real person, and (as it was the case with Judge Roy Bean) TREASURE ROAD is a somewhat fictionalized account of his exploits.
And what exploits they were! You have to admire the ease with which the author switches the action from Panama consulate to Texas slave ranch to a steamboat bobbing on the ocean waves - all this without the help of supers and Indiana John-style cheesy map montages.
The script is really moving: we're introduced to the titular Treasure Road on page 7, are given our in-depth briefing (it's about gold, not about travelers, Mr. Runnels) on pages 23-25 and are on our first trip through the jungle by page 37.
The time-consuming matters like the foundation of Runnels Express Service, travel, police investigations and Eliot Ness-style attacks on the bandits are handled deftly through a series of silent montages. The author faced an enormous task of fitting several months of jungle warfare in the second act of the script - and dealt with it marvelously.
The secondary characters - the teenage prostitute Angelique, the villain Copeland and Runnels’ sidekick Joe Stock - are all have memorable entrances. Copeland's in particular deserves a mention: he establishes his villain's credentials by shooting a Minister's daughter down in cold blood (with a very funny one-liner). Later, he saws through some poor dead lady's finger to get her diamond ring.
Joe is introduced via a nice BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID-type confrontation: and I really liked that there was no "hey, nice job in here" dialogue between Runnels and Stock afterwards.
Just a calling card in Joseph's hands. Beautiful.
There are lots of goodies in this script: the cougar scene, the mass hanging (straight from history, as I understand it), the awfully charming episode on pages 61-62 where Ran tries to buy Angelique (with some LOLITA and TAXI DRIVER references), the hopelessness and desolation of the rain season in act three, the cholera outbreak, the innovative white-hatted (quite literally) hero vs. dirty villain confrontation in the end... where things DON'T go as you expected.
So - yes, this is a good script. But is it a great one?
BAD STUFF
The answer is no - at least, not yet.
The "based on a real story" angle can only take us so far - it's the author's job to cull, cull, cull irrelevant and distracting real life details to leave the reader with a coherent and cinematic narrative.
TREASURE ROAD has quite a lot of irrelevant stuff going on. I suspect that many weird characters - like Rev. Jesse Hord, who is introduced as a major player only to vanish two pages later without a literary trace - come straight from the author's research into Runnels' life.
But do we really need them? Reverend's only function is to turn Runnels around from his path of peace - and it is never explained why, how or if Colonel Hays convinced Hord to give that particular sermon.
Colonel Hays himself is set up as the hero's partner with a drinking problem - but also vanishes on page 29. I suppose that's how things went in real life - but narrative-wise, I'd rather spend these pages getting insight in Runnels-Stock's relationship.
To put it simply, there are too many characters. Only on the female front we have Mrs. Seacole (who is important for the racial tension subplot), Angelique (who gives Runnels a clear-set goal), Ms. Lola Montes cameo and Isabella the governor's "niece" (well, it looks like she WAS his niece after all!) as the final love interest.
Then we have the railroad subplot with its own characters, and the market subplot with the locals setting up the Watermelon War in the grand finale.
What's more, we have Ulysses S. Grant's cameo and even a "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" joke as political commentary.
On this cluttered background we lose Copeland as the villain - he doesn't make his return till page 83 (yet again demonstrating his unfortunate penchant of cutting people's hands off), and then we have the chase for the railroad's money bag segueing into Angelique's murder while Panama goes to hell in a hand basket with all the rioting...
It's just two or even three too many things to keep track of - even on the written page, were you can scroll back and check the names and locations again. On the screen, I would find act three - in its present state - even more confusing.
REFERENCES
ZULU - the Minister opening RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK - opening (although those were Peruvian jungle) UNFORGIVEN - Runnels’ non-fictional background and drinking problem (not as well handled in TREASURE ROAD) SORCERER - the Jungle trail full of dangers APOCALYPSE NOW - "a river full of demons and monsters" TAXI DRIVER - buying out Angelique DARK OF THE SUN - it's about diamonds, not people WRATH OF GOD - if there only was a way to make Rev. Jesse Hord a major character in the mold of Robert Mitchum's wonderful Father Oliver Van Horne!
IN CONCLUSION With some serious culling of the rich real life material TREASURE ROAD could be a great historical Western - just keep the focus on Runnels, Stock and Angelique and maybe even make Copeland into a more fleshed-out and credible villain (the author definitely should keep the scene of his demise, though).
Like in Sergio Leone's ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, the coming of civilization to Panama could and should propel our characters forward - but not at the cost of the script's action-adventure heart.
The wonderful world of steam - with all the railroads and bridges being build, and the teeming town brought to life with just a line or two of description - should simply be a background for the central human conflict.
Of course, TREASURE ROAD could also be a drama about the hellish working conditions of Pacific Railroad (which eventually lead to the climatic Watermelon Riot)... but I'm not sure if a straight drama will do justice to such a dynamic historical character as Randolph Ran Runnels.
I'm glad to report that TREASURE ROAD didn't disappoint. It's a sprawling epic much in the vein of THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUDGE ROY BEAN and BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID. It has the atmosphere of muddy Panamanian jungle down pat - you are in there, with the birds and monkeys and crocodiles... and grim men riding a string of mules through 40 miles of bandit-infested terrain from Panama City to the coast.
GOOD STUFF
At first, the characterizations seemed a bit weird - we have a hero with an improbable alliterative name of Randolph Ran Runnels who owns slaves and is so badass that COMANCHE are afraid of him!
But of course (as the cover picture would have hinted to a less dense reader) Mr. Runnels was a real person, and (as it was the case with Judge Roy Bean) TREASURE ROAD is a somewhat fictionalized account of his exploits.
And what exploits they were! You have to admire the ease with which the author switches the action from Panama consulate to Texas slave ranch to a steamboat bobbing on the ocean waves - all this without the help of supers and Indiana John-style cheesy map montages.
The script is really moving: we're introduced to the titular Treasure Road on page 7, are given our in-depth briefing (it's about gold, not about travelers, Mr. Runnels) on pages 23-25 and are on our first trip through the jungle by page 37.
The time-consuming matters like the foundation of Runnels Express Service, travel, police investigations and Eliot Ness-style attacks on the bandits are handled deftly through a series of silent montages. The author faced an enormous task of fitting several months of jungle warfare in the second act of the script - and dealt with it marvelously.
The secondary characters - the teenage prostitute Angelique, the villain Copeland and Runnels’ sidekick Joe Stock - are all have memorable entrances. Copeland's in particular deserves a mention: he establishes his villain's credentials by shooting a Minister's daughter down in cold blood (with a very funny one-liner). Later, he saws through some poor dead lady's finger to get her diamond ring.
Joe is introduced via a nice BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID-type confrontation: and I really liked that there was no "hey, nice job in here" dialogue between Runnels and Stock afterwards.
Just a calling card in Joseph's hands. Beautiful.
There are lots of goodies in this script: the cougar scene, the mass hanging (straight from history, as I understand it), the awfully charming episode on pages 61-62 where Ran tries to buy Angelique (with some LOLITA and TAXI DRIVER references), the hopelessness and desolation of the rain season in act three, the cholera outbreak, the innovative white-hatted (quite literally) hero vs. dirty villain confrontation in the end... where things DON'T go as you expected.
So - yes, this is a good script. But is it a great one?
BAD STUFF
The answer is no - at least, not yet.
The "based on a real story" angle can only take us so far - it's the author's job to cull, cull, cull irrelevant and distracting real life details to leave the reader with a coherent and cinematic narrative.
TREASURE ROAD has quite a lot of irrelevant stuff going on. I suspect that many weird characters - like Rev. Jesse Hord, who is introduced as a major player only to vanish two pages later without a literary trace - come straight from the author's research into Runnels' life.
But do we really need them? Reverend's only function is to turn Runnels around from his path of peace - and it is never explained why, how or if Colonel Hays convinced Hord to give that particular sermon.
Colonel Hays himself is set up as the hero's partner with a drinking problem - but also vanishes on page 29. I suppose that's how things went in real life - but narrative-wise, I'd rather spend these pages getting insight in Runnels-Stock's relationship.
To put it simply, there are too many characters. Only on the female front we have Mrs. Seacole (who is important for the racial tension subplot), Angelique (who gives Runnels a clear-set goal), Ms. Lola Montes cameo and Isabella the governor's "niece" (well, it looks like she WAS his niece after all!) as the final love interest.
Then we have the railroad subplot with its own characters, and the market subplot with the locals setting up the Watermelon War in the grand finale.
What's more, we have Ulysses S. Grant's cameo and even a "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" joke as political commentary.
On this cluttered background we lose Copeland as the villain - he doesn't make his return till page 83 (yet again demonstrating his unfortunate penchant of cutting people's hands off), and then we have the chase for the railroad's money bag segueing into Angelique's murder while Panama goes to hell in a hand basket with all the rioting...
It's just two or even three too many things to keep track of - even on the written page, were you can scroll back and check the names and locations again. On the screen, I would find act three - in its present state - even more confusing.
REFERENCES
ZULU - the Minister opening
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK - opening (although those were Peruvian jungle)
UNFORGIVEN - Runnels’ non-fictional background and drinking problem (not as well handled in TREASURE ROAD)
SORCERER - the Jungle trail full of dangers
APOCALYPSE NOW - "a river full of demons and monsters"
TAXI DRIVER - buying out Angelique
DARK OF THE SUN - it's about diamonds, not people
WRATH OF GOD - if there only was a way to make Rev. Jesse Hord a major character in the mold of Robert Mitchum's wonderful Father Oliver Van Horne!
IN CONCLUSION
With some serious culling of the rich real life material TREASURE ROAD could be a great historical Western - just keep the focus on Runnels, Stock and Angelique and maybe even make Copeland into a more fleshed-out and credible villain (the author definitely should keep the scene of his demise, though).
Like in Sergio Leone's ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, the coming of civilization to Panama could and should propel our characters forward - but not at the cost of the script's action-adventure heart.
The wonderful world of steam - with all the railroads and bridges being build, and the teeming town brought to life with just a line or two of description - should simply be a background for the central human conflict.
Of course, TREASURE ROAD could also be a drama about the hellish working conditions of Pacific Railroad (which eventually lead to the climatic Watermelon Riot)... but I'm not sure if a straight drama will do justice to such a dynamic historical character as Randolph Ran Runnels.