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The Dark Diary of Columbus, Luis's Original Draft
(Script 1) 12/31/2010Celebrated as a brave hero, a closer look into the personal diaries of Christopher Columbus and a Dominican priest that traveled with him reveal the most unforgivable crimes in American history.
Creative Notes
I was eager to learn more about the Taino Native Americans that lived in the Caribbean Islands before Christopher Columbus arrived after watching a great documentary called 500 Nations. It discussed the horrors that occurred during the Columbus and Spanish invasion. I found a copy of Christopher Columbus' and Bartolome de Las Casas' diaries and was inspired to write this screenplay. Enjoy!
Synopsis
Right from the shocking pages of the diaries of Christopher Columbus' and a Dominican priest that traveled with him, we finally get to see the dark past of America that was never taught in school.
After a lifetime of fighting slavery in the Indies, a Dominican priest confesses the greatest Holocaust in American history in his diary and the priest's own role in introducing the African slave trade to the "West Indies", now known as the Caribbean Islands. He tells us of his failed attempt to free Indian slaves and an Indian chief who escaped and humiliated the Spanish armies for 15 years. He then goes back to tell us how so many unforgivable crimes began, starting with the first voyages of Christopher Columbus to the New World. Comparing the diaries of the Columbus and the Dominican priest, we learn of Columbus' fear of death when he sailed out in violent ocean storms; the Native American slaves he kidnapped and died on his return to Spain; and his bargain with God by having a crew member of his ship dedicate their lives to missionary work, if God will only spare their lives.
We are introduced to Enrique, the Taino Native American that would later elude attacks from the Spanish armies for 15 years. He is a child studying the Spanish ways under the supervision of Catholic priests. A local Native American girl convinces him to sneak out and play at night at the top of a mountain cliff, where they fall asleep in a hammock hidden in a canopy of trees. (Note: The Taino invented hammocks.) The boy is disturbed from his sleep, only to find droves of other Native Americans committing suicide by throwing themselves off of the edge of the cliff. The boy closes his eyes and prays it's all a bad dream.
The Dominican priest is having nightmares of all of the horrifying killings and rapes that are being committed by the Spaniards. In his dreams, he envisions himself as both the predator and the victim. He reveals that "these atrocities did not happen every now and then. They happened every day as the Spaniards became more inventive and fiendish with each slaughter".
It's a new day and the sea is calm as a pond. Captain Columbus and his entire crew are dead asleep from exhaustion from the storm as a cabin boy steers the ship while half-asleep himself. The ship crashes on a sand bar, causing panic and mayhem among the crew. A Taino Native American King comes to the rescue by helping Columbus diligently unload his supplies off of his ship and welcoming them as honored guests. Columbus and his men learn that the island is filled with gold and hatch a plan to retrieve it for the Queen of Castille. Before Columbus returns home, the Native American King offers Columbus several gifts of food, gold, spices, and a large tribal mask made of wood and large pieces of gold. 40 of Columbus' men stay behind in order to "protect" the natives from another tribe of cannibals, known as the Caribs, and to acquire at least a ton of gold for Columbus' return.
Columbus returns to Castille, presenting the Natives, gold, and other valuable resources found in the "West Indies" to the king and queen. He lies to the king and queen, saying that the natives are all cannibals, in order to get permission to enslave them, teach them the Spanish ways, and "save their souls". He request is granted as he returns with 17 ships, filled with greedy and ambitious soldiers ready to impose their power over the natives. We meet Enrique as an adult Taino Chief. He watches over his people in the gold mines and is whipped continuously for letting an old Native American return home to his wife and family. The Dominican priest sees this abuse and complains to the local governor to have the Indian slaves released because they have been dying by the millions over the years. The governor negotiates with the priest to use his influence with the king of Spain in order to allow stronger African slaves to replace Native American slaves. The priest signs the agreement in order to free the Native American slaves, but finds out that none of the slave owners have complied with the order.
Enrique finds his childhood love and marries her. After they are married, Enrique's wife is raped and beaten by his slave owner. When Enrique confronts his slave owner, he is beaten and thrown out of the slave owner's villa. Enrique then goes to complain to the governor, only to be thrown in jail. The Dominican priest complains to the governor and visits Enrique in prison. He promises to return to Castille in person in order to help free the Natives and grant Enrique justice. Fearing he will be killed before the priest returns, Enrique escapes and frees a force of Native and African slaves. They're chased by armed Spanish soldiers into the night, but succeed in defeating and disarming their pursuers. Enrique sends the Spanish soldiers back home to Spain on their ships and we learn that Columbus is imprisoned and has had his eyes gouged out by the Spanish authorities. Columbus dies as a poor pauper believing himself to be a hero. The Dominican priest finishes writing in his journal, begging for forgiveness for the slavery of both Native Americans and Africans.
After a lifetime of fighting slavery in the Indies, a Dominican priest confesses the greatest Holocaust in American history in his diary and the priest's own role in introducing the African slave trade to the "West Indies", now known as the Caribbean Islands. He tells us of his failed attempt to free Indian slaves and an Indian chief who escaped and humiliated the Spanish armies for 15 years. He then goes back to tell us how so many unforgivable crimes began, starting with the first voyages of Christopher Columbus to the New World. Comparing the diaries of the Columbus and the Dominican priest, we learn of Columbus' fear of death when he sailed out in violent ocean storms; the Native American slaves he kidnapped and died on his return to Spain; and his bargain with God by having a crew member of his ship dedicate their lives to missionary work, if God will only spare their lives.
We are introduced to Enrique, the Taino Native American that would later elude attacks from the Spanish armies for 15 years. He is a child studying the Spanish ways under the supervision of Catholic priests. A local Native American girl convinces him to sneak out and play at night at the top of a mountain cliff, where they fall asleep in a hammock hidden in a canopy of trees. (Note: The Taino invented hammocks.) The boy is disturbed from his sleep, only to find droves of other Native Americans committing suicide by throwing themselves off of the edge of the cliff. The boy closes his eyes and prays it's all a bad dream.
The Dominican priest is having nightmares of all of the horrifying killings and rapes that are being committed by the Spaniards. In his dreams, he envisions himself as both the predator and the victim. He reveals that "these atrocities did not happen every now and then. They happened every day as the Spaniards became more inventive and fiendish with each slaughter".
It's a new day and the sea is calm as a pond. Captain Columbus and his entire crew are dead asleep from exhaustion from the storm as a cabin boy steers the ship while half-asleep himself. The ship crashes on a sand bar, causing panic and mayhem among the crew. A Taino Native American King comes to the rescue by helping Columbus diligently unload his supplies off of his ship and welcoming them as honored guests. Columbus and his men learn that the island is filled with gold and hatch a plan to retrieve it for the Queen of Castille. Before Columbus returns home, the Native American King offers Columbus several gifts of food, gold, spices, and a large tribal mask made of wood and large pieces of gold. 40 of Columbus' men stay behind in order to "protect" the natives from another tribe of cannibals, known as the Caribs, and to acquire at least a ton of gold for Columbus' return.
Columbus returns to Castille, presenting the Natives, gold, and other valuable resources found in the "West Indies" to the king and queen. He lies to the king and queen, saying that the natives are all cannibals, in order to get permission to enslave them, teach them the Spanish ways, and "save their souls". He request is granted as he returns with 17 ships, filled with greedy and ambitious soldiers ready to impose their power over the natives. We meet Enrique as an adult Taino Chief. He watches over his people in the gold mines and is whipped continuously for letting an old Native American return home to his wife and family. The Dominican priest sees this abuse and complains to the local governor to have the Indian slaves released because they have been dying by the millions over the years. The governor negotiates with the priest to use his influence with the king of Spain in order to allow stronger African slaves to replace Native American slaves. The priest signs the agreement in order to free the Native American slaves, but finds out that none of the slave owners have complied with the order.
Enrique finds his childhood love and marries her. After they are married, Enrique's wife is raped and beaten by his slave owner. When Enrique confronts his slave owner, he is beaten and thrown out of the slave owner's villa. Enrique then goes to complain to the governor, only to be thrown in jail. The Dominican priest complains to the governor and visits Enrique in prison. He promises to return to Castille in person in order to help free the Natives and grant Enrique justice. Fearing he will be killed before the priest returns, Enrique escapes and frees a force of Native and African slaves. They're chased by armed Spanish soldiers into the night, but succeed in defeating and disarming their pursuers. Enrique sends the Spanish soldiers back home to Spain on their ships and we learn that Columbus is imprisoned and has had his eyes gouged out by the Spanish authorities. Columbus dies as a poor pauper believing himself to be a hero. The Dominican priest finishes writing in his journal, begging for forgiveness for the slavery of both Native Americans and Africans.
Reviews
Overall Recommendation:
4.8 stars
(8)
Most helpful reviews
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The Dark Diary of Columbus, Luis's Original Draft
Wow!! Nobody has wrote it this way before, and I have heard some of these abuses that Christopher Columbus did, very upset about it cause in our schools they make him look like a hero, but in reality he was a bastard. If you make this movie I will bring my whole family to see it!! This script has everything, emotion, action, and the drama looks intense! Fantastic, well done!! Hope this wins, am looking forward to see it in the big screen!!
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Interesting project
Most recent reviews
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some coverage for you
At its best, The Dark Diary of Columbus is a poignant and gripping immersion into the dirty secrets of Columbus that Americans wish weren't true. The premise is new and the story worth telling, and for these reasons, The Dark Diary is worth a read. I applaud your effort, and the following are meant to be constructive bits of criticism to help you in your next draft:
1. While you are adept at drawing a scene, your action paragraphs are often too long. Big blocks of text can bog a reader down to the point of putting down the script altogether. In the Screenwriter's Bible, Trottier recommends limiting these paragraphs to no more than 4-5 lines, it's good advice for keeping as much white space as possible on the page. Challenge yourself to tighten the action.
2. In some of the weaker moments - from about the half way mark onward - the action tends to get a little Pirates of the Caribbean campy. I think the script would benefit from keeping the focus on developing the characters.
3. I found the dialogue anachronistic at times, with 21st century colloquialisms sneaking in. You do a great job of painting the picture of the period, make sure to apply that same focus to the dialogue.
4. The VO work sometimes feels like a show/tell violation, in that the narrator provides an explanation of the emotions you want the viewer/reader to feel. Usually, these emotions came through the script, making the VO redundant.
5. It felt like Columbus disappeared after the return to Spain, while Enrique's story is nice, I would have liked a bit more involvement for CC.
Again, great first draft. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading the next draft.
-Rhett Metz
1. While you are adept at drawing a scene, your action paragraphs are often too long. Big blocks of text can bog a reader down to the point of putting down the script altogether. In the Screenwriter's Bible, Trottier recommends limiting these paragraphs to no more than 4-5 lines, it's good advice for keeping as much white space as possible on the page. Challenge yourself to tighten the action.
2. In some of the weaker moments - from about the half way mark onward - the action tends to get a little Pirates of the Caribbean campy. I think the script would benefit from keeping the focus on developing the characters.
3. I found the dialogue anachronistic at times, with 21st century colloquialisms sneaking in. You do a great job of painting the picture of the period, make sure to apply that same focus to the dialogue.
4. The VO work sometimes feels like a show/tell violation, in that the narrator provides an explanation of the emotions you want the viewer/reader to feel. Usually, these emotions came through the script, making the VO redundant.
5. It felt like Columbus disappeared after the return to Spain, while Enrique's story is nice, I would have liked a bit more involvement for CC.
Again, great first draft. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading the next draft.
-Rhett Metz
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people found the following review helpful:
The Truth Shall Set Us Free
The truth shall set you free or even better yet the truth shall set us all free. I can't begin to say how much I believe that knowing the truth and teaching the truth, the real true is as important to our survival as fresh drinking water is. I praise anyone that sets out to seek the truth and bring it to light especially in this subject here which in near and dear to me being of the Islands of the Caribbean. Every Columbus day makes the Indian and Black blood that runs through my veins boil. The thought we celebrate this murderous cowards genocidal crusades is a slap in the face to every single one of us that have been lied to about him. I applaud and support this work.
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Brilliant work of historical fiction
History tells us many conflicting stories of Columbus, but Luis Aponte's The Dark Diary of Columbus tells a sordid story of all of the things that make America what it is today - discovery, adventure, romance, heartbreak, life, death and a brilliant tale of the man who "discovered America" and the stories of the true players in this legend's life.
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The Dark Diary of Columbus, Luis's Project
(Drama, Action and Adventure) "Celebrated as a great hero, a closer look into the personal diaries of Christopher Columbus and a Dominican priest that traveled with him reveal the most unforgivable crimes in American history. "