Timothy Turnipseed El Paso

On the whole, I enjoyed reading this script, Ms. Cauley. You have a knack for capturing feelings and making us really care about the characters. Cudos!!

You must have been in a hurry when you wrote this script, because you have quite a few clumsy passages like this example from page 30:

"Leo is sitting on his side of the soaked sock to his side. With the he's grower paler and weaker. The top of the backpack and the water"

You also give lots of instructions to the actors, telling them how their character thinks and feels. I think many directors feel that this is their job. Also, if some big name Hollywood actors ever do your script, they will have their own interpretation of the characters. I think your best bet is to reveal the character's feelings and personality by what they do and say. To quote a cliche, "show, don't tell".

I like the way you changed scenes after the wave crashed down on the raft. That was a truly suspenseful moment for me.

Is the talking dead guy real in any sense, or is it just the other guy going nuts? Or is the audience supposed to wonder about what's truly going on, like the "The Lady or the Tiger" story?

There's a lot of deep emotional content here, and you have some important things to say. That being said, does a modern movie audience have the sophistication and patience to spend about 90 minutes watching two guys talk at each other?

What you have here is a chick flick for guys -- except most guys hate chick flicks. Or maybe you are being truly fresh and creative by taking a bold new direction? If so, I wish you luck with this project!

-- Timothy Turnipseed "indeed"