Chris Lang Astoria OR

This was a very fun read, and it's clear the author has a great visual, and structural understanding of this futuristic world they've created. The story ranges from action and adventure, drama, a little romance, and moments of priceless comic relief.

The parts of the screenplay I enjoyed the most were the 'take no prisoners, balls to the wall' approach of the hero, Chad. I particularly like this dynamic when paired up with his opposite, Gren. The scenes where the two of them have to work through their differences of personality are interesting and entertaining at the same time.

I also like how huge this world seems to be. The use of 'Jumpgates' to get from place to place allows for the reader (and someday hopefully the viewer) to catch glimpses of all sorts of different worlds, giving this story seemingly endless boundaries.

There are also plenty of hoops for our characters to jump through that keep the story interesting and moving forward.

Some areas I wondered about while reading... In this world, which seems so huge, there doesn't seem to be a lot of other people/aliens besides the ones fighting in these particular battles. During the scenes, occasionally a group of reinforcements will arrive, but I found myself wondering 'where are these ships/people coming from?' I wanted to catch at least a glimpse of where they were all hanging out before this battle.

I also was wondering whatever happened to those folks they left behind on old earth. I know they obviously came back and rebuilt, but I thought maybe they would make an appearance in the end to affirm that they were ok.

And I was wondering about the 'bomb' they had planted in the android. As I understand it now, the bomb wasn't really a bomb. Instead, the whole point was to create a jumpgate inside of the predator... (I love this idea by the way... all for surprises). However I don't know if this is accurate. I felt like I needed just a tiny bit more explanation to fully grasp what was happening in those last few, action-packed pages.

I loved the end though. Both visually (the transition to the final race) and on how it tied everything together. What a fun story, and I hope it get's better with each revision.

Thanks for the good read.

This was a great read, and you clearly have a great grasp on efficient, well-timed screenwriting. I wish I had skills like this. It was easy to keep going, and I didn't stop reading once I started. Everything flowed well, and wrapped up tidy in a nice package at the end.

Some things I felt while reading it, that you may or may not want to consider:
Loved the cool visual cues, like passing from one layer of the atmosphere to another in one fluid shot. Also loved the futuristic take on air travel, complete with outsourced food service on board.
I was a little curious as to why the president, after being introduced earlier, doesn't show up again until many pages into the impending disaster. I found myself wondering what she was up to this whole time.
The last little struggle at the end (only room for two) seemed a bit anti-climatic, considering the things that had just happened before. I didn't feel much emotional gravity in the situation, likely because I was still reeling from the intense landing sequence. I found myself thinking 'If there is a pod there, they should all just make a run for it, and sort out the details when they get there' rather than just sulking on this 'one of us will be left behind' moment.
This is probably just nit-picking, but the plane was slated to land at Regan national, but I believe that this airport is far too small to handle a plane that size... and they currently don't allow international flights to land there, save a few from Canada, and the Caribbean... perhaps this changed by the time this film takes place.
Lastly, I was a little confused, after they said the A380 would land at JFK, and then suddenly it was going to land at some military base. I remember them discussing having some planes land at a military base, but I don't remember the A380 getting assigned to one. This could just be a reader error though.
Overall, you clearly have a vast knowledge of aviation and aeronautics that puts mine to shame, so I'll probably just leave it at that.
Thanks for the fun read!