Donovan Montierth (Mesa)

There isn't a star rating for songs!

Anyway, I was just browsing through and found this little GEM! I had to drag my twin brother over to see this great little test film. Very nice.

We both agree, what really makes this stand out besides the great storyboards is the MUSIC. We found the songs to be engaging and totally captivating. Great Job. I felt like singing along...

I read once that when you write a script you have to please 3 groups of people before the script is considered a success. Some would argue that you really only have to please yourself, but that's not true if you're looking for a significant audience. That's really what we're all after here really, is to find a significant audience for a piece of work and to make some money.

So you ask yourself, is this a film people will want to pay to see? And more to the point, is this a film A LOT of people would pay to see?

Back to those 3 groups, as a way to simplify that question down to steps, I think about pleasing these groups in the following order:

1. The READER of the script.

You want people to like the script. You want to write it with quick fast prose that eases the reading. These readers have to dig through tons of manuscripts and so any excuse to drop the script into the slush file is taken. Bad grammer, bad format, long boring passages.

That being said, I think your script "Whodidit?" nails this first group successfully. I LOVED this script as a reader...it had good quick description, fast paced and interesting dialogue and fun characters. You got to the meat of the story right from page one and your grammer, spelling and format is just about perfect. Home run, so far. I've read a lot of terrible scripts in my time, this is not one of them. From the get go, 5 pages in, I know...this guy knows what he's doing. After that I can breath easy and just enjoy the ride. Very EASY, FUN read.

Now, if this first step is successful the reader will pass this on to the next group...

2. The FILMMAKER.

This is the next important group to please, because this is where the writer initially gets paid. If a filmmaker reads the script and likes it whammo blammo, they get behind it and shoot the film. (Obviously, I'm over simplifying this step, but for the sake of the 3 group scenario, just go with me) Let's look at the script from the filmmaker point of view. They aren't looking for just a quick fun read. If they are like me, they are an independent low budget filmmaker looking for a script that's going to be interesting but easy to shoot, meaning inexpensive. That translates to few characters, few locations, no explosions...

As a filmmaker, I LOVED this script even more. After reading this I was dying to make this film. It would be fun, quick and inexpensive. Great characters, that were all unique and the dialogue clicks by at a pace that would make Howard Hawks proud. It crackles with personality and keeps the story moving. A low budget film with virtually one location can be very expensive, look at more recent films, Buried and Open Water. Both were done very successfully. Of course, there's 12 Angry Men...

In the age of MTV and Da Vinci Code (strange pairing I know) I think the script effectively switches scenes back and forth without staying in any one scene for too long and there are no lengthy monologues to lull anyone to sleep.

My favorite scene by the way was on page 22. Harry says, "Yeah, whatever. They got naked and made funny noises. You do the math." I laughed out loud. Then down the page he says, "What happened to my good cop? I got no good cop now?" I laughed again! I can go through reams of scripts and not laugh once, and you got me twice on one page... There's also a good film noir moment when the bad cop repeats, " I'll drop you down a flight of stairs for a month."

Step 2, in my eyes, successfull! You made me want to make the film right now, damn it...so good job, so far, on to the next group...

3. The Audience of the film (viewer).

Now this is a pretty important group and we want this group to be the biggest of the three groups, so that everyone involved with making your script into a film makes money...so they come back and want your next script.

As an audience for the film, this is where it gets subjective...this film is in the vein of a great Agatha Christie or Sherlock Holmes (more Agatha cause they solve the case through the interrogations and not through science, so maybe Perry Mason is more appropriate), I found that I was your target audience again! I LOVE Agatha Christie and Perry Mason so, I was there all the way. Now for someone looking for an adventure around the world shootups in Paris and all that, this wouldn't be your cup of tea.

I could appreciate the simplicity of this piece, One room, many suspects and all that. I really dug the atmosphere of the interrogations and never seeing the faces of Good Cop or Bad Cop. For crying out loud, if someone could make a movie with Ryan Reynolds in a box for 2 hours then this movie is a shoo in.

So Group 3 is successful in my eyes. This was my cup of tea.

Although, I thought it would have been hilarious if the Tax Woman was the culprit, with all the implications of Death and Taxes and all that. I did figure it our from the introduction of the (Deleated due to spoiler)...reminded me of A.A. Milnes "Red House Mystery" right from the start. On page 32 I thought the cop was trying to trap him by the "But Philip found out" line but realized that you meant to write "Van" instead of Philip. But even figuring it out early didn't bother me because I read a ton of mysteries...like I said it's my cup of tea.

I loved the whole Pam-Polly exchange in splitscreen. That was great stuff.

Anyway this is becoming a book...so I hope this review has been helpful. Being a part of all 3 groups, I have to say, I enjoyed this script very much.