Mister Positive (Atlanta, GA)

Mr. Positive just got through reading the hilarious comedy "Master Plan," and Mr. Positive must say that he's impressed with Mr. Tracie's comedic skills at turning such a risque subject as slavery and racism into a non-stop laugh riot!

If you want a script that'll make you laugh, look no further than "Master Plan"!!!

For several years, the romantic comedy has largely been a place of dread, disgust and horror, striking fear in the hearts of boyfriends, husbands, and people with taste. These days, virtually any movie starring Jennifer Aniston, Katherine Heigl, Matthew McConaughy, Drew Barrymore, Ashton Kutcher, Jennifer Lopez, or Kate Hudson is virtually guaranteed to be an awful time at the movies and further proof of the romcom's plummeting health and/or rotting stench. Even talented actresses like Amy Adams (Leap Year), Anne Hathaway (Love & Other Drugs) and Reese Witherspoon (How Do You Know) have been laid low by predictable romcom contrivances. It's a genre that has become known as a place where likable actors can cash big paychecks for trying to be likable in unlikable movies, undermining their likability in the process.

Does Peace of Cake, with its slightly unconventional plot manage to rise above the morass? Or is it further proof that the romantic comedy is a genre that should be put out of its misery?

In a word, Yes.

Sincerely
Mr. Positive

Act one definitely needs to be retooled and streamlined. Several instances I was unsure of the clarification of the character goals. It also seemed to me that the dialogue could definitely use some tweaks throughout the script.

Mr. Rob, you took concept art from Halo 3; a picture from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon; and a picture from an IMAX movie and used them in your movie. I didn't think that this was allowed. Why did you use a computer generated voice?

A few thing, Chadwick, your script isn't in correct format at all. You need to drop the footers as well, and put your page numbers up at the top right corner. Get rid of the three minute long narration that you start the script with. Nobody's going to remember all of those details, and you're going to bore your audience from the start.

Split up your action lines to make your script more readable.

Shorten all of your long lines of exposition and narration. The audience is not going to remember all that stuff.

Here's a great site on how to properly format your scripts.

http://www.simplyscripts.com/WR_format.html

Have fun in the contest, and don't forget to think positive.

Mr. Positive.

Now this movie makes sense. It's an hour long, and is well written and performed. Great job!

Sincerely
Mr. Positive.