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At Amazon Studios

 
 
 

Latest Work

Credits in 3 works

Scripts

Credits Works Average Rating Downloads Date
Created
Writer

The Holy Cruller Paul's Original Draft (Script 1)

No rating
2 11/15/11
Writer

CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE Paul's 2nd Draft (Script 2)

No rating
1 09/05/11
Writer

CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE Paul's Original Draft (Script 1)

No rating
5 08/30/11

About

I was a Professor at two top 10 universities, then left to pursue writing full time. My first novel was published last year by a reputable e-publisher. In motion pictures, I have a RomCom in development with a major independent producer (being casted by agents at elite agencies), and a Dramedy which has just entered active development with my Manager, who will also be a Producer. My writing spans all types of comedy, from absurdist to wry. The script I've submitted here is a blend of absurdist and edgy humor with imbeded social commentary.

My RomCom writing partner is a script doctor at Script Shark. I have a second partner on a different project who was a television actress. I also write solo.

I live in a suburb of Los Angeles, and have good access within the industry. I am repped by an aggressive, young Manager, and had an Agent until she stepped aside due to illness. As such, I'm in the process of securing a new Agent.

Willing to work with new partners, but only if you're a brilliant writer whose intensity and perfectionistic drive matches mine.
 

Reviews Paul Has Written

The Break-Up Artists, Gary's full color storyboard

3 out of 5 people found the following review helpful:

Great visuals. But the script is too crude and disrespectful of women to ever be picked up by Hollywood

Overall Recommendation:
1 stars
 
Premise:
2 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
1 stars
 
Dialogue:
1 stars
 
Emotion:
1 stars
 
November 30, 2011
I must say that I expected the story, characters and such to be worthy of consideration by Hollywood, but I was disappointed. Not even close. The story is shallow. Characters are unlikeable (esp. Jerry); and Chris is too mindless in the opening to be believable or generate any empathy. Dialogue is too often crude and unrealistic. Women are treated horribly. No depth of character or complexity except a bit with Mary, although even she talks harshly and unfeminine when she and Chris are together while Jerry's having sex with the woman in the bedroom (her mention of 'crotchless panties' would turn off any woman reader/actor). The notion of centerfolds and Cocksmen magazine are dated concepts, reminiscent of the 'Playboy' era.

Though, in my opinion, the script is a disaster (it's not a RomCom, unlike many reviewers have specified). It's a crude, youth-oriented comedy.

That said, the story board work is fantastic. Great images, color and such. I just wish it was in service of a saleable script.

I like the concept of Breakup Artist, but not as a club or other unreal format. Rather, an individual (male or female) who counsels people who want to get out of horrible relationships, while unable to get out of his/her own lousy relationship. That could be a Hollywood project, but the characterizations and dialogue would have to be substantially upgraded from what exists here.

Just giving my opinion. I didn't view Gary's other winning storyboards, but he's obviously found a good venue for his work. To go beyond Amazon, which I think he should aspire to, not just for the greater money to be made there, but for the self-satisfaction of attaining that level, would require Gary to focus more on the story than storyboard aspect, although he's terrific at that component. Not to mention making good bucks.
 

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