Robert Sargeant (Comox, B.C.)

I read the 3rd draft of Cody & The Cubnappers, last year, and gave it a good review. The 5th draft has made several changes that make it better. The story structure has been tightened and some of the characters have been removed or replaced. The evil, North Korean, black marketer, Ding Dong Poop is gone, replaced by a less silly named Sung Chang-Ho. The goons have been replaced too, by two gangster types, under the thumb of an overbearing female villain, Earlene.

Cody has a new side kick, Austin, who is a video game addict. After some strong persuasion, Austin joins Cody, as they try to unite a lost cub with its mother in the everglades. This adds some extra excitement in the second act, as Cody's friend is bitten by a rattle snake.

This version seems more rooted in reality. The characters come alive. As a family adventure that takes place in the Florida everglades, it works. If caste properly it could be a successful box office film and do very well in the digital rental/sales market.

I found the premise behind this screenplay to be amusing - Santa gets taken hostage by some radical eastern European nation and he is rescued by Nick, a recovering alcoholic, who worked for the CIA. Nick goes through an interesting character arch throughout the script, from being an irresponsible father to a caring one. I like how the elves go on strike when Nick gets sent to work with them at the North Pole. The scenes of Santa getting angry while he's making his big escape are funny too.

I feel the audience for this type of movie could be much larger if the violence and language could be tamed a bit. I notice that it is listed as geared towards those 13 and older, but because of its subject matter there would be an appeal for this in the 12 and under age group. So that might be something to think about in writing your second draft.

Cody & The Cubnappers is well written with some good unexpected plot points, and many of the ingredients required to make a fun family movie. Obviously the author, Bill Schreiber, knows the Florida everglades, and has come up with an over-the-top adventure that takes place there. The silliness of some scenes reminds me of the "God's Must Be Crazy" films that came out in the 1980's.