Annette Vanderzon (Washington, D.C.)

Hi Marty:

Thought you did an exceptional job on many fronts: the script, the dialogue, learning Final Cut Pro (which is not an easy piece of software to learn!), getting actors to act for you, researching your script. Obviously, the judges agreed. Quite an interesting addition to Amazon, I just found it today. I remember when they started back in Old Town Alexandria.

Some notes:

(1) The Cardinal with a gun ... the Church is going to have a fit.

(2) "History repeats itself." I believe it's: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana. Americans are not so great with history as we see each national election as indicted felons are put into high positions in government.

(3) Destruction of the Alchemist's symbol: (a) this is extremely destructive to the spirit of investigation and (b) kills your opportunity for The Alchemist's Symbol Part II

On terrorists, there were many personal POV"s that were expressed as an agenda which I'm not sure helps your script. You may want to revisit those lines and see where they actually contribute to the characters and the plot.

Since you've used the film to promulgate your POV ... I feel free to respond to your POV. As the grandaughter of the head of the Dutch underground, Johannes Ruyter, I'm not ignorant of family members being shot by Nazi firing squads nor ignorant of a 700-year old family fortune being spent on a cause that wasn't personal ... I'm not Jewish. So, I'd like to respond in a way that opens people's minds ... and creates healing.

There is a quote on a website which was built by Charles Annenberg in a film he did inside Palestine called, "No Child Is Born a Terrorist:" Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor." St. Augustine of Hippo 354-430 A.D. ~A pirate, from St. Augustine's "City of God."

I'd encourage you to check it out: http://explore.org

There are also some brilliant books written by Marianne Williamson (a fellow LAer) you may want to peruse.

Good luck you're exceptionally talented.

Wonderful! I just stopped by and was going to just watch for five minutes but the film caught me and I watched it all the way through. It was a completely unexpected ending surprisingly enough!

The primary couple were a bit too raw and a bit too fast to be sophisticated players ... I would like to see a bit of work on these two. If you get a sophisticated player to act these two, Will Smith, Charlie Sheen, Ashton Kutcher all spring to mind, then they will have their own spin on the main character adding bits which will make the characters more believable.

The secondary couple touched all the raw emotions that everyone hides beneath the surface be they "players" or "regular peeps."

Director-wise I think you'd do well to get someone like Rob Luketic - 21, The Ugly Truth - who would add his own twists and surprises making the movie more enjoyable. Katherine Heigel with her inserted "insta-orgasm" was hysterical.

I think animation lends itself to a certain "over-the-top" quality that regular film simply doesn't do such as the buffet table laid out with body parts and I think the reason is that real people bring a quality of wit and depth to film that animation is incapable of bringing in its two-dimensional state.

Having said that, I think you have used the tools of the trade that you have available exceptionally well and it's an impressive feat to put together a full length storyboard at such a high level of quality.

Congratulations on what must have been an exceptional amount of hard work!