< Bird> (Nest)

I just read and really liked the story as it is. I have not seen the referenced movies that it is compared to, maybe that helps. I am not sure why it needs to be changed, it seems this could be made into a cute Christmas movie as is, with very minor rewriting. Jack Black would be perfect as Leon and Sam's role is just right and I see no need to make Sam the central figure more than he is.

Two cents from a potential audience member. Thanks for an uplifting holiday story Kevin.

Congratulations on getting selected. I really enjoyed reading your script and was so hooked I read it straight through, not wanting to put it down. Reminded me of the Navy SEAL who was recently busted for smuggling and selling weapons in San Diego/Las Vegas only with the twist of placing during the time of the LA riots.

I agree with one of the other reviewers who said the characters could be more intertwined (in fact I felt this was going to happen during the reading, but it never did). I expected their weapons to show up or play some role in the way the LA riots were unfolding.

Perhaps Dillon could have been killed by a gang member who had bought one of the guns Dillon and his friends sold on the street, and that moment of realization by Aaron and others. Perhaps Dillon or Aaron could have a teenage son who was killed by one of the guns they sold to thugs. Bringing a realization that their rich yuppie life is DIRECTLY connected to what they do for a living, which they have compartmentalized as something separate.
Great movie.