2
out of
2
people found the following review helpful:
Well-written
Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
Premise:
3 stars
Story structure:
3 stars
Character:
3 stars
Dialogue:
4 stars
Emotion:
3 stars
July 05, 2011
I enjoyed the story as gross as it was. Definitely a guy's movie.
There were some typos and inconsistencies which pulled me out of the story.
Some of what happens I was waiting for...I saw it coming...like the tickets getting stolen.
Adriana was too convenient...Why didn't Phil or Bryan know about her grandfather? I would think it would be something that was part of office gossip, seeing they were such diehard fans.
I didn't see that James would wager his ticket so that was a twist and a comment on friendship.
The hobo scene could have been different cuz the hobos were too preachy...it was like "oh here comes the message part..." Slowed down the story.
I rooted for Phil but not for Bryan. Why didn't someone think to pour water on Bryan's crotch when he got stuck? But I thought it was hilarious. I didn't believe Bryan's dialogue that he was doing all this for his pal Phil. You need to make it more believable.
The "no insurance" was an obvious plant. And I didn't "get" the wiping the nose bit with Phil and Adriana...
I wouldn't see the movie but I can see it getting made with some scenes being toned down.
Aaron Sorkin and William Goldman. Hal and Cheryl Croasmun's ScreenwritingU classes. Chris Soth's classes/DVDs, Steve Kaplan's Comedy Intensive. Michael Hauge and Billy Mernit DVDs, Blake Snyder.
There were some typos and inconsistencies which pulled me out of the story.
Some of what happens I was waiting for...I saw it coming...like the tickets getting stolen.
Adriana was too convenient...Why didn't Phil or Bryan know about her grandfather? I would think it would be something that was part of office gossip, seeing they were such diehard fans.
I didn't see that James would wager his ticket so that was a twist and a comment on friendship.
The hobo scene could have been different cuz the hobos were too preachy...it was like "oh here comes the message part..." Slowed down the story.
I rooted for Phil but not for Bryan. Why didn't someone think to pour water on Bryan's crotch when he got stuck? But I thought it was hilarious. I didn't believe Bryan's dialogue that he was doing all this for his pal Phil. You need to make it more believable.
The "no insurance" was an obvious plant. And I didn't "get" the wiping the nose bit with Phil and Adriana...
I wouldn't see the movie but I can see it getting made with some scenes being toned down.