Nimish Varadkar (Mumbai)

The story might sound similar, with changes in the situations and the characters, but they are wonderful little changes.I think the strength of your script lies in those characters(almost everyone is adequately defined) and the dialogues, which are brilliant and witty.

I loved the little bits about the UPS dude & Joel, Amber's character(utterly lovable----if this goes on to become a movie then I hope she is played by a big eyed, cute girl with short hair), Zack's character (you should add a little bit more about him if you can) and his little thing with the Cannibal's bass player and biggest of all the Tai Chi bit(Bloody Epic).

The problem for me is that at times the story goes into chick-flick mode.Esp in the montages.
Also at the end, everything seemed so heavily girlish.And I can imagine girls totally loving that mushy end but us lads might just be a little disappointed.Cause in a way it takes away a bit of sheen from what can be a very, very witty story.

Girls will love this but if you can tone down the chick-flick feel(which is in parts) then this can be loved by both genders.Still a wonderful effort and again, loved those witty dialogues.

I will be honest, that I knew it was a typical guys movie meant only for us blokes to enjoy with our male friends and I am glad you stuck with the theme, from the start to the end.
I liked the humour, and some of the gags and dialogues were original and funny.The premise demands it to be a bit vulgar and you shouldn't compromise on that.

My issues with the script are:-

1]The end seems a little hastened.Also there's this bit about Adriana's family.I think it would help if you could squeeze in a small explanation(given by Adriana of course)--that she is working in Phil's office to gain experience...something that her family demands...before they induct her in the family business...or something to that effect.
That would just add a touch of logic to her character, which is working in that office without anyone knowing about her family.

2]Also at times James's and Bryan's characters seem a tad bit similar.I know its too late to make massive changes but it would help if you make James less effective with women.Esp in the scene with the Stripper at James's home.It would help the story if you make it seem that he didn't actually score with her but maybe just laid beside her all night or watched her sleep--like a creepy nerd(which it seems he is).Makes him a believable geek and then it would make sense when he sleeps with the Hobo girl, the sheep and the bloke at the cultists.

Overall I liked your work.As I read it I could see the scenes unfolding in front of me which is a good thing.Good work lads.