Drew Miller

The story seems formulaic but well paced and interesting. I had trouble following some of the flashbacks and cuts, and I lost track of what was happening near the end.

The dialogue between Hannah and Sully kept the plot moving, but there weren't many jokes between them. They spend a lot of time talking to each other, and if they had more of a humorous dynamic it could make the script a lot funnier.

I don't really get what Hannah's work had to do with the rest of the story. To me it seemed like it added a lot of minor characters who didn't do a whole lot.

There were a lot of moments when the audience was expected to know what the character was thinking. If the actor's unable to convey that to the audience, some parts of the story won't make sense.

Overall it was good and funny in a quirky way. I really enjoyed reading the script

The script was great apart from a few minor things. There were some typos (their instead of there, pugh instead of pew) but overall the story seemed very coherent. I thought a lot of words were unnecessarily capitalized in the stage direction

The suspense was great, especially in the scene at Carl's house. I was nervous just reading it.

On pg 38 Leyton is shot in the chest, earlier Frank said he shot him in the head. Minor inconsistency but not a big deal.

There were a few times I thought the dialogue seemed artificial, especially during the interrogation scene. That didn't strike me as the way the police would do things.

The killer's motivation seemed odd to me. All the talk about God didn't make sense to me when it was revealed that his real motivation was revenge. It was also hard to believe he could cut open his leg and slash his wrists and still overpower a bunch of police.

The biggest flaw I could find with the script is Devon's character. It was clear that he was still struggling from the loss of his friend as a child but it was hard to understand his personality. Until the end of the script, most of what he said and did would be what almost anyone would do in those situations. That makes him a realistic character but not a truly memorable or compelling one.

First off, great ending. I was not expecting that at all. However, the story structure needs some work.

A lot of things were described as "not the best, but not the worst." You could just write "average" and it would mean the same thing.

My main issue was with the dialogue. It moved the plot along but it didn't seem real, the way people naturally talk. People use a lot more contractions and less of "I am gonna" or "there is someone at." Some people said "shall," which almost nobody uses. I know it was translated into English so some of this might be simply lost in translation.

Some things were a little off to me. On page 9 the whole "you are taking care of the household" scene seemed really forced. The press conference on page 11 and 12 even more so. The line "the earth has lost his best friend the moon" was oddball and seemed out of place in an official press conference.

Do they go to school in the city? It didn't seem to specify. There was a morning rush hour, which doesn't happen in small towns, and they were surrounded by skyscrapers when the meteorites started falling.

On page 23 no aliens have shown up and everyone thinks the meteorites are chunks of the moon. Who is "them" when the religious guy is talking?

on page 33, the towel scene didn't seem to have a point.

On page 46, how did the reporter come to the conclusion that there were alien spaceships surrounding the earth so quickly? On that note, how did everyone come to the conclusion that there was a war coming and they had to be prepared? There wasn't a scene where someone said "Hey guys, we're at war" or anything. It goes straight from meteorites and alien spacecraft to war with no transition.

I felt the characters were flat and could have used some fleshing out.

Now that the criticism's over, I liked the idea. It reminded me somewhat of Cloverfield, where a few people are trying to escape from an unstoppable monster. I liked how they knew they didn't have a chance to fight the aliens and their best chance was to run. It makes it more realistic than other alien invasion movies where a band of misfits join together and destroy an entire alien race.

This story has a great premise but that's all it seems to be- a premise. To me, the entire screenplay feels like a setup. If there is a plot to the movie, I missed it.

I was really interested in the opening. The armed cab driver, rows of tanks, police scanning everyone, and a family too scared to go outside all seem to be part of a distopian near-future. When I found out it was set in the present day and nothing bad was going on, I was dissapointed.

The dialogue was good but I felt the characters were unbelieveable. I couldn't imagine someone so protective they would keep their family locked inside at all times, especially in conditions like that. I also thought that the rest of the family wouldn't accept that situation and find some way out of it. I can't imagine a wife staying with a husband like that and allowing him to treat his children that way.

The romance seemed strange to me. From the dialogue they were brother and sister. The whole idea of them falling in love left a bad taste in my mouth.

The entire screenplay was well formatted. I noticed a couple typos but it didn't distract me from reading the play.

Overall I think the idea has promise but there needs to be some changes for it to become a believable story.