Vicky Neal

This was one of the quickest reads I have had in some time. The writer knows how to write actions that carry a punch but take up little space. The dialogue, overall, was very real and believable. Voice overs are tough to make work in a script, but David did this very well. They made me think of the old detective films of the 40s where voice overs would be used throughout the story to fill in the audience on what was going on in the investigation.

If I had one concern, it would be that Nick needs something to make him more likable while he's kicking the scumbags' asses. He has lost family, but that really doesn't play into the story very much. It wouldn't hurt to add a female role, maybe someone Nick takes an interest in and does nice things for so we see that he is a caring man to counteract all of the bad things he does to the low lives. Cleaning up the street scum may not be quite enough. It wouldn't take much to push him over the threshold.

There was just so much to like about this script. David's knowledge of weapons really showed. That's very important for a writer to pull off. It is a well-crafted script that would make a very entertaining film.

I thought this script was different, in a good way. It definitely has potential. I really liked the relationship between Rose and Maggie. A little more time between them, memories, feelings, would make their relationship even stronger. Those two could use a little more since they were the best.

You do write well. Most of the time, I didn't have any trouble following what was going on. There is a good deal of tension between the characters and resolution to those that require it.

Overall, a very good job. Thanks for the read!