2
out of
3
people found the following review helpful:
Nice snapshot of a city under seige
Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
Premise:
5 stars
Story structure:
5 stars
Character:
5 stars
Dialogue:
5 stars
Emotion:
5 stars
December 03, 2011
A well constructed, gripping story. Character development is just right.
I just had a couple of questions/comments:
Page 2 Ben and Trevor hover beside the van then Ben and Pete speak to Steve. Where did Pete come from? Is he actually Trevor?
Page 12 Why does Greg call Erik a freak? I don’t get why Erik's comments would prompt that response. Given the previous night’s happenings at the cemetery Erik's advice seems sensible to me.
Page 28 What is the woman distracted by when she’s chasing Jami’s car?
Page 32 Rolland missing word cannot “…we CANNOT afford to underestimate…”
I just had a couple of questions/comments:
Page 2
Ben and Trevor hover beside the van then Ben and Pete speak to Steve. Where did Pete come from? Is he actually Trevor?
Page 12
Why does Greg call Erik a freak? I don’t get why Erik's comments would prompt that response. Given the previous night’s happenings at the cemetery Erik's advice seems sensible to me.
Page 28
What is the woman distracted by when she’s chasing Jami’s car?
Page 32
Rolland missing word cannot “…we CANNOT afford to underestimate…”
Impressive work!
Eily