Joe (Allendale)

I read this script, and I feel compelled because of that waste of time, to let everyone know that this script is very far from a 5 star rating.

The dialogue was bad.
The characters were 1 dimensional... and lame.
The premise was lacking.

Social networks are a hot topic, and I'll give the writers that and only that. As for handling that topic, they did that poorly.

I feel offended that I took the time to read this and write a reasonable review, only to have my original review taken off.

Pound for Pound is hilarious.

Reading this script I could visualize every scene and every character's reaction to each other. The dialogue is ridiculous, and I mean that in a good way. It's the quirky funniness and rough language that make this script laugh out loud funny. Reading the synopsis first razed my attention, but doesn't do the script real justice.

I was curious to see how a power lifter goes from high to low, along the way finding himself in a bum gang and working on a fishing vessel before making his comeback. But after reading the script, I found the main characters journey hilarious and spell binding. And I think the best part that makes the story so appealing is at times how serious it can be.

The intro is very serious, and reminds me of the Wrestler in some ways. His life style is so perfectly laid out, Lewis B. Sullivan is believable as a power lifter. After his injury, the story takes a trip down the rabbit hole as far as a grounded comedy goes and goes into the realm of ridiculous. I thought the bit on homeless gang warfare to be a riot. And all though I thought joining a fishing vessel to be another ridiculous portion of the story, it actually served as a lynch pin to bring the story full circle.

I thought this script was roller coaster of emotion and comedy and the perfect balance of the two. And when it was all read and I was done, even though it was outrageous, it also was kind of inspiring.

Anyways, definitely worth a read. Awesome story.

As a script, I would say that "My father's House" needs work.
Except for the dialogue it's more like reading a novel than a script. With lines like "Is he talking about the flask or the work site? Thomas answers for both." And has a bunch of unprofessional slang thrown in, and I'm not talking about the dialogue, but the description. "CARMEN holds court at a table by the door. She’s a thick woman in a gray uniform, all kinds of drunk". or "LISA swoops in wearing a black cocktail dress. Hella hot."

It just is not very professional.

As for the story,

The story borderlines on interesting... but with a twist: it's boring and unoriginal. The concept of rescuing his loved ones from death, hello! That was done in that one Robin Williams movie "What dreams may come," among other stories. This script doesn't bring anything new to the table, and doesn't add anything to an old premise.

Its hard to get emotional with the lack of characters you care about and the dialogue... not being good. But the loss of family is an emotional concept, just not executed well.

A B for effort, a C- at best for the product...

I just started reviewing scripts... I thought it would be a lot of fun. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings here, but this was BAD. I only opened it because it was top rated. I gave a 2 star to character and story structure , because I was able to understand the characters are losers, and the story developed that much. Other than that everything was bad. OMG don't let this win.