Sandra Held

Characters that are outside of what you normally get to see on TV and a dark secret. Has lots of potential.

Hilary is a great, smart character. The concept lends itself to a long comedy series. Clinton gets into all kinds of trouble and his friends are really no help, which makes for great comedy!

Original concept with endearing characters. Especially Leonard is a character kids can relate to. I see potential for an educational theme. Needs proofreading and some work on formatting.

I like the characters (especially Jessica) and the concept is promising (almost everybody has camp experiences). The jokes and wit need to be a bit sharper & the writing could be a bit more visual

Making candy the most desired thing is a good twist,but Kaiser comes across as a dog with a bad attitude. Dialogue could use more subtext. Pilot script doesn't use full potential of the mini bible yet

I like the extra info on the characters. The summaries for the following episodes could be a little longer, I had a little trouble following the storyline. Overall a good addition to the project!