I grew up in Upstate New York, where I became intimately familiar with snowstorms and the inside of the public library. After completing a degree in film and working in NYC, I moved to Texas where I now sling booze at politicians and write about zombies and mad scientists.
The characters are flat and predictable. Needs more action in the first five pages to hook us, and punchier jokes. The poor grammar made it frustrating to read.
Punchy dialogue but there's no story arc in the first episode. It just sort of ends on nothing. The characters are hilarious but will be tiring without some depth. The style reminds me of Ugly Betty.