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Some of my screenplays can usually be found on "Inktip."
 
 
 
 

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About

I've been writing screenplays since 2005. Several of my screenplays have been a first place, finalist or semi-finalist in the following:

SCREENPLAYS

PROPHESIES - Recently Completed
CRIMINAL JUSTICE - Recently Completed
DIFFERENT WORLDS TOGETHER – First Place - The writer's Place 2009 International Contest - Short
SISTER EARTH – Finalist - 2009 Page awards Finalist 2010 Page Awards
THE RETURNERS – Finalist - The Kairos Prize 2009 Finalist 2010 Page Awards (top 10%)
PROPHESIES( Version 1)– Finalist 2010 Page Awards Finalist 2010 Screenplay Search Screenwriter Competition
WELCOME TO HELL - Short screenplay – Finalist – 2009 Brad Awards
ROCKETMAN - Short Screenplay – 2010 - Top fifty Finalists, Brad awards

From 2000 to 2005 I created and won awards for several stage plays.
 

Reviews Anthony Has Written

The Hit, Blake's Original Draft

2 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Good first draft.

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
June 21, 2012
The premise is good, but similar to many other movies, perhaps more colorful characters?

Language may be a problem(as I have learned) and anyway you don't really need it. See what some other reviewers think.

According to my experience it's not good to step on the music director's feet. It's usually better to suggest a type of music and have him decide, again, see what other reviewers think.

There are many implausible circumstances that happen throughout.
examples:

Lou shots a guard and the men in the back room don't hear it.

A great deal of back and forth in fight between Lou and Nick without anyone actually getting killed.

The nurse in the hospital elevator casually letting Lou escape- might work if the entire screenplay was tongue and cheek style.

A couple of times someone pulled the trigger with the gun just happening to be empty.

The story seems to move back and forth from tongue and cheek type comments and serious drama - especially at the end with the daughter killing Destiny.

I didn't get to "pull" for any of the characters. Perhaps if I knew earlier about Nick I may have liked him more.

It's a very good first draft - I'd say stick with it, it may get there with two more drafts and some more comments.

I'd suggest going one way with it, either straight serious, or all tongue in cheek. With tongue and cheek you can more easily have people killing each other more freely

Best of Luck
Anthony
 

CameraMan, Pilot Video 1 - Camera Man

4 stars
Good cinematography - story could become a sit-com or animal house type movie. 2 main characters are very good; girl is good. Gay man is trying too hard, Cowboy, not so funny. Best of luck Anthony
June 21, 2012

Moment in Time, Lauren's 2nd Draft

2 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Very strong concept that can be developed.

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
2 stars
 
Emotion:
2 stars
 
May 18, 2012
Lauren-
In screenplays, the most important thing is the idea. Your concept that one world's actions may have devastating effects on other parallel worlds is a very interesting one and could be developed into a fine screenplay.

I know you are aware that you will need to work on correcting grammar errors as your drafts continue. I agree with your last reviewer that a professional reader will not tolerate errors for long, but unlike that reviewer I feel just a mention is adequate. Personally, I think it a good idea for a reviewer to receive several reviews before attempting to give their own.

As many of us do, you could consider having the grammar checked by someone proficient in grammar. I will say though that as I mentioned in my past reviews, you're not using contractions does make the dialogue seem much too proper. It should sound the way you would normally speak.
Example - "I will see you later," would be better used as "I'll see you later."

Your concept, if left open for others to contribute or even add their own versions, could be a good direction to go.

Good luck
Anthony Ingoglioa
 

Mathilde Video 2 - Character Teaser

3 stars
April 05, 2012

THE TRAVELERS - LIFE FORCE, Lauren's 3rd Draft

2 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Great undertaking of a Sci-fi saga that joins mytrhology and meaning for humankind.

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
April 05, 2012
"The Travelers-life force " is the third part of this epic story.

The premise is strong, although with three parts there is a great deal to absorb. As movies of three parts, or more, it would work as did Star Wars.

The story is developed in layers, as though each layer is its own structure. It must be read carefully to absorb the great deal of information presented. As one grows more deeply involved in the story it becomes increasingly interesting as Lauren continues to build on all previous information.

The characters are developed enough at the beginning to feel their needs and desires. As the story grows, so do these characters, to the point that they become very sophisticated independent personalities.

The dialogue gets the story across with a style that explains what is happening and who it is happening to, but I wouldn't mind more variation in different characters dialogues. However we do get to know and sympathise with them.

The emotional level is fine, but a few more peaks and valley's could add a little more punch to the more climactic scenes.

All in all this ongoing saga is well thought out, with all of the information coming together eventually. It is a tremendous effort on Lauren's part in developing such a complex story into a meaningful series.

Best of luck Lauren.
 

The Nevsky Prospect Video 3

5 stars
March 22, 2012

Favorite Movies

Anything by David Lynch
Alien(s)
Terminator
Fringe-TV Series
Matrix
Event Horizon
The Exorcist
The Sixth sense
 

Influences

I am influenced by all the screenwriting gurus, but my major mentor is John Truby.

I am most impressed by David Lynch's manner of moving in and out of reality, dream worlds and subconscious minds.

Stephen King and Tarantino are also favorites.
 

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