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Origin Of A Species, Matthew's Original Draft

0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Needs fact checking

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
2 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
May 29, 2012
The main Character should be changed from an retired or disabled Police Officer to someone that doesn't know anything about dogs and just has pets. A Police Officer's K9's would be vacinated at the highest level, even if retired, from rabies, and any other malaise that hits a GSD.

A Police Officer wouldn't just wash down concrete with a hose; he would also scrub the concrete with at least a solution of clorox and water if not something else specifically made as an anti-bacterial as concrete absorbs urine, parvo etc...

Also, Let's assume there were even one GSD running alongside a "Track Team". The Track Team would stop and seek some kind of height advantage. Maybe the last guy up a tree doesn't make it, or some such action, but no action even initially, doesn't hold true.

All dogs can turn given the right circumstances; however if you want to use this premise you have to go back to a botched batch of Rabies Vacine that the GSD's received, maybe in a flashback or a side investigation.
 

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