Chris Todd (Washington DC)

A good read. Good premise. I could see it being on tv for sure. The girl is great, the guys could be more distinct from each other. I really wanted one or two more "fish" lines before moving on lol

I think this has the right mix of action and laughs for a children's show. Might make for a good movie as well. Seemed to be a lot of "..." in the dialogue. Enough mystery to keep intrigue going.

A fun read. Some funny jokes and characters. I like the street smart little girl. One thing that bothered me a bit was the number of exclaimation marks. Also, I think you mixed up Craig & Clinton pg31

I'm not the demographic, but i really liked the story and I could SEE some of the charm. A couple of typos (well, I only found one) but nothing glaring. The pilot reminded me of Madeline w/ a mouse.

It had some funny moments (I liked the Mr. Goodbar/Tootsie rif) but much of it dragged. I'd like to see you take the best moments, cut it down to one "profile" scene, then add a story on top of that

The humor is there. I thought it was very funny. The format needs a little work, and it could be longer. Might make for a good web series. This one has potential, but has a long way to go to get there