Tommy Meyers (Tyler, TX)

I'll cut right to the chase. You have an interesting premise here, no doubt. But I think I may have a bit of A.D.D. or something because I can't seem to make it past the first few pages in a lot of scripts here and it takes me a long time to keep interested when I try to start up the script several times. What I'm trying to say in so many words is that your script starts up way too slow for my tastes. You're working in a genre that's ripe for action, and that's how it should begin. It doesn't have to be explosions or whatnot, but you need to bring something intriguing enough to the beginning to keep someone like me interested. In its current state, I'd probable fall asleep in the theater and then hear the booms of the action, wake up, and turn back in. But overall my opinon of the story would be quite jaded by the time the credits roll.

Find something to draw us in at the beginning and I may give it another go.

I'm all for the next zombie flick. So the idea of having zombies in space is just awesome to me. In your synopsis you say the script is "Aliens" meets "28 Days Later". That is probably very apt in this case because I felt like it was James Camerons film but with zombies instead of aliens. Terraformers, colonists, strong female with emotional past, etc. It was all TOO familiar and that's the downfall of this script.

Not saying that it's bad, it's just "been there, done that." Try to think of another place for these zombies to pop up. Perhaps a drifting ship in the middle of space? Space is limitless, so open your mind to new possibilities. Torin also needs a better build up. We're kind of hit with all of her baggage really quick. Sparse it out more. Plus, she's Ripley. Too familiar again.

You got the great concept, my friend. Zombies in space! Run with it. Its a great idea. But the way the script currently is could almost be copyright infringement its so familiar. Tweak the situation, dialogue, and emotional build up of your lead and you'll have something fun here.

Good luck ;-)

'Nuff said.

I know this is a long time coming so I'm going to get straight to point. Mind you this may be corrected in further drafts.

Solid premise, interesting setup, it just takes too long to get there. I literally had to start this script several times before I could get past page twenty. Speed up act 1 and maybe throw in a bigger teaser at the start and you have something here.

Either that or I have ADHD. You choose ;-)

This is a very well written story that has big screen bound written all over it. The only real complaint I had with it was it took 20 pages to get into the story. The dogfight is fun but overall it's not that pertinent to spend that much time on it. Chop it down to where the crew gets to the island by page 10, it'll start up the story much quicker and keep the audience engaged and follow you the rest of the way.

The first ten pages are critical. That's where you capture or lose your audience. Generally, by page ten we should be able to get the "feel" for your entire story.

Good job!

Another Publish America scam. Shame on you people.