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Semifinalist: Best Script
 

At Amazon Studios

Find Me Online

 
 
 
 

My Work at Amazon Studios

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More About Me

Well, I've tried out this grand experiment of Amazon Studios since they opened their doors but after fruitless endeavors I've decided to concentrate my strengths elswhere. Working on something not movie related. Will let you guys and gals know if anything comes of it. Farwell for now!

And for those curious, that's me with Jon Landau (producer of Avatar and Titanic) in the picture. That Oscar is heavier than you would think!
 

Reviews I've Written

THE COVEN, Lyle's 2nd Draft

0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Meh...

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
2 stars
 
Emotion:
2 stars
 
November 04, 2011
I'll cut right to the chase. You have an interesting premise here, no doubt. But I think I may have a bit of A.D.D. or something because I can't seem to make it past the first few pages in a lot of scripts here and it takes me a long time to keep interested when I try to start up the script several times. What I'm trying to say in so many words is that your script starts up way too slow for my tastes. You're working in a genre that's ripe for action, and that's how it should begin. It doesn't have to be explosions or whatnot, but you need to bring something intriguing enough to the beginning to keep someone like me interested. In its current state, I'd probable fall asleep in the theater and then hear the booms of the action, wake up, and turn back in. But overall my opinon of the story would be quite jaded by the time the credits roll.

Find something to draw us in at the beginning and I may give it another go.
 

Deep Space, Sean's Original Draft

0 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Familiar...

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
2 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
September 18, 2011
I'm all for the next zombie flick. So the idea of having zombies in space is just awesome to me. In your synopsis you say the script is "Aliens" meets "28 Days Later". That is probably very apt in this case because I felt like it was James Camerons film but with zombies instead of aliens. Terraformers, colonists, strong female with emotional past, etc. It was all TOO familiar and that's the downfall of this script.

Not saying that it's bad, it's just "been there, done that." Try to think of another place for these zombies to pop up. Perhaps a drifting ship in the middle of space? Space is limitless, so open your mind to new possibilities. Torin also needs a better build up. We're kind of hit with all of her baggage really quick. Sparse it out more. Plus, she's Ripley. Too familiar again.

You got the great concept, my friend. Zombies in space! Run with it. Its a great idea. But the way the script currently is could almost be copyright infringement its so familiar. Tweak the situation, dialogue, and emotional build up of your lead and you'll have something fun here.

Good luck ;-)
 

First Contact Finders: The Plant, Tomas's Original Draft

0 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Funny for all the wrong reasons

Overall Recommendation:
2 stars
 
Premise:
2 stars
 
Story structure:
1 stars
 
Character:
1 stars
 
Dialogue:
1 stars
 
Emotion:
1 stars
 
September 18, 2011
'Nuff said.
 

The Alien Diaries, Glenn J.'s 2nd Draft

1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Good, but...

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
September 12, 2011
I know this is a long time coming so I'm going to get straight to point. Mind you this may be corrected in further drafts.

Solid premise, interesting setup, it just takes too long to get there. I literally had to start this script several times before I could get past page twenty. Speed up act 1 and maybe throw in a bigger teaser at the start and you have something here.

Either that or I have ADHD. You choose ;-)
 

Sky Gods, Paul's 5th Draft

1 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

Great yarn!

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
April 17, 2011
This is a very well written story that has big screen bound written all over it. The only real complaint I had with it was it took 20 pages to get into the story. The dogfight is fun but overall it's not that pertinent to spend that much time on it. Chop it down to where the crew gets to the island by page 10, it'll start up the story much quicker and keep the audience engaged and follow you the rest of the way.

The first ten pages are critical. That's where you capture or lose your audience. Generally, by page ten we should be able to get the "feel" for your entire story.

Good job!
 

EDEN FADING, Michael's Original Draft

1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Another scam

Overall Recommendation:
1 stars
 
Premise:
No rating
 
Story structure:
No rating
 
Character:
No rating
 
Dialogue:
No rating
 
Emotion:
No rating
 
April 15, 2011
Another Publish America scam. Shame on you people.
 

Favorite Movies

- Avatar
- Inception
- The Lord of the Rings trilogy
- Superman (1977 Richard Donner)
- The Bourne Trilogy
- The Matrix
- The Exorcist
- Indiana Jones
- Beowulf (Robert Zemekis)
 

Influences

Big movies are what I love to write, so big directors and writers are who I admire most. Spielberg, Jackson, Cameron (The Holy Trinity) are my favorite directors. There are a number of writers who have influenced me as well.
 

Following

17 Projects

Winner: Best Script
Finalist: Best Script
Semifinalist: Best Script
 

Children of Others

(Thriller and Suspense, Science Fiction and Fantasy) Barrington Smith-Seetachitt

(Thriller and Suspense, Action and Adventure) ROBB ENTERTAINMENT ROBBENT.COM

(Action and Adventure) Derek Shoults

5 People

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Winner: Best Script
Finalist: Best Script
Semifinalist: Best Script, Best Sci-Fi/Action Script
 
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Winner: Best Script
Finalist: Best Script, Best Horror Script
Semifinalist: Best Script, Best Sci-Fi/Action Script, Best Horror Script
 
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